Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 29, 2013, at 21:02:06
well, as i write this im listening to music, and trying to at least find a peace, feel miserable, and i try to make goal setting ideas for bettering people's lives, but when it deflates and im not enthusastic, i go back to this miserable state, not happy, not enthusasted, in a gloomy slowness......i don't want to deal with these feelings, this gloominess....greyness, slow, apathy....like walking in fog...Staying around with this gloomy fiend that plagues me all the time, is gonna have to leave.....i've stayed in this depression for 4 years, slowness, and now im starting actually realize where have i been these 4 years....away from people....its gonna stop, i choose to do this, to feel safe from making serious choices about life, and avoiding confrontation with people, staying in a safe place that turned out to be a gloomy place, a boring, depressing place with no stimulation
so ... i hope i don't wake up tommorow and regret writing all this, but i have to get it out somewhere... start saying to myself that i will get into a new state of mind and leave this depression of 2009-till now and start a new chapter in life
r
not a scholar but understand distress.....
"unheard pain, is the told through good company"
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1057162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20131209/msgs/1057162.html