Posted by schleprock on September 17, 2012, at 17:00:41
(MI=Mental Illness)
Okay, hears the story: About 6 months ago experienced major panic attack, a few weeks later felt a mild anxiety slowly building up over 3 days.
Now the important part: spotted some unsighlty mildew in the tub and shower curtain, and sprayed a bit of Lysol with bleach (only 1% bleach mind you, and not an excessive amount.) Didn't rinse. Maybe 40 minutes later went in the shower to have a cigarette (I'm not technically allowed to smoke in my apartment, so I'd usually smoke in the shower with the curtain closed, was doing it for about a year.) Wasn't even thinking about the bleach, and didn't even smell it.) After my second cigarette, noticed I was feeling a bit tired earlier than usual, still not thinking about the bleach. Probably had one more cigarette than went to bed, but felt pretty normal.
Slept pretty well, but sometime in the middle of the night it crossed my mind that I probably should have rinsed the bleach from the shower. Woke up the next morning feeling really strange, definitely some heightened anxiety, but also something I wasn't used to feeling (light delerium maybe, some depersonalization?) It was one of those conditions you look back on and feel that you've never felt the same since. I was more than a bit concerned that this had something to do with bleach poisoning, but I was experiencing anxiety already prior to that day. Some medication adjustments, felt somewhat better after about 2 weeks, been bouncing between stable and anxious/depressed ever since.
But I never really stopped thinking about this, and whether that episode was due solely to anxiety or bleach poisoning (and worries of brain damage.) Now the stupid part: I was feeling rather well two nights ago, and thought I'd put the matter to rest once and for all: I'd spray the same amount of lysol with bleach in the shower, have one cigarette, and see what happens. If my condition remained the same, I'd have the boon of knowing that my condition was internal, and had nothing to do with some foreign poisonous substance. Of course that's not what happened- felt a bit anhedonia after the cigarette, haven't slept to well the past two nights, and definitely a bit of mild anxiety. Though I don't feel nearly as bad as after that first incident (probably because I'm on much more medication) the brief bleach fume exposure definitely played some kind of role, at least initially, in my current illness.
Though it had haunted me, I was very dubious about the bleach inhalation having affected me, and was really leaning towards the exacerbation of my condition being just a coincidence (especially having seen that bleach poisoniong consists of more pulminary factors than psychological.)
Now it looks like I was wrong, and wonder if amyone else with a mental illness may have had environmental toxicity affect their condition.
Please assure me that I haven't done my brain any permanent damege.
poster:schleprock
thread:1025920
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120912/msgs/1025920.html