Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 26, 2012, at 23:56:18
i've posted things here that are misleading of who I really am. I've had pity parties, fantasies of granduer to combat people's bad opinions of me. I've got to say whats going on...of course the use of methamphetamine has been going on, but I have to say the dealers are some of the sickest mental manipulation and will be vary abusive and humiliate me in frount of people. They use many terms that refer to idiot, just diffrent phrases that are clean sounding. The thing I do I have to let this place know of the intense distress I have been in, and the reason I use various narcotics is to get relief from the horrible humiation I will feel in frount of people, and the after effects of it. I've met people in the black market that will go to various doctors and get loads of hydrocodone, adderall, xanax, morphine...and methadone on top of it. I mean I can't believe their are doctors who morally precribe these major loads of narcotic cocktails....but it does happen, and people do get it and are satisified and then they sell their large hoards of pill and make ALOT of money from the black market.
I just wished that I could change, I forget my train of thought in the middle of a cliamax of a discussion, forget and people think I'm delibrity not doing what they asked and will humilate me, but they don't understand that I am not absorbing this infomation and the horrid mental state I'm in after these dreaded incidences of being called a twit, or basically anything that refers to idiot...It's horrible and I think about this every night and try to think of a solution, but I can't change something I was designed.
Thank you friend for reading....
rj
I am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Medications:
Prozac 60mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Lamictal 50mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:1020255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120608/msgs/1020255.html