Posted by Zyprexa on March 25, 2012, at 2:56:00
I am now mentaly delayed and mainly socialy behind I feel like i'm learning all over again. But I'm an adult now. I feel like I have the mentality of a 15 year old. Exactly how long its been since my last ECT. Also I know nothing about dating anymore. Once again I feel like I'm leaning again, even though I should know this by now. I keep screwing up with women. I feel like I'm turning them all down, because I don't know what to do anymore. This is all driving me crazy. Would I be better off with out the meds or worse? Some times I feel like I connect better with out meds, but I get super mental. I drink every night at home and do nothing, because I'm too tired lazy paranoid and when I do go out I don't know how to engage with people. I panic, freeze up don't know what to do and anxious. Its like I don't know how to loosen up. Honestly I don't like to leave the house and get very anxouse just thinking about it. I have a realy hard time opening up to people now. When I was in my 20s I was realy easy going and liked to meet people but I was so dumb from ECTs that It was like I was frozen. The other thing was I used to smoke pot all day and that helped a lot. But now I can't, and if I do I just get realy paranoid. Thats part of the reason I need so much medication now that is sedating. I distance myself socialy now because I went into college and got straight A's and I quit pot and alcohol. Which used to be the only way for me to scialize. But it does not work anymore. I feel like college messed up my life. And zyprexa made me fat so girls were not interested in me for years. Now I feel old and don't know how to get back into all that. I'm 35 now. Is that old? I mean since quiting pot and smoking I'm gotten myself back in shape. But I feel I have low self estime now that is horible. And makes me ball up and hide away. What should I do? I know I usualy don't post anything personal on here, but I need help and I'm not getting it on my own. psychiatrists don't help or have enough time, or me the money for all day sessions. Is my brain f*ck*d or what??
Lonly guy
poster:Zyprexa
thread:1013897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120316/msgs/1013897.html