Posted by zonked on February 19, 2012, at 15:29:28
So, finally got on a decent cocktail ...
I had bug-bombed my house, and unfortunately, the caps were off my meds (including Dexedrine) and um, well, the last two weeks have been depression worst than I've ever known.
I didn't want to call the doctor and explain, because I do not want to arouse any suspicion.
Wow. I guess for me, being on Dexedrine therapy means that if I ever want to go off, it must be done VERY gradually. I did not experience tolerance this time, but 2-3 days after I discarded the tainted pills, I have been stuck in a mind-numbing depression-anxiety mess.
I have even had to drink about every other day so at least, at some point, I have some relief until I see the doctor at the regularly scheduled time.
I blame the FDA and DEA. If I had a refill on file (in the US, there are ZERO refills for Schedule II meds like Dexedrine), I would have been fine a few days ago.
As soon as I'm back on dexedrine, alcohol once again will be nasty and unappealing to me.
Time. Time is so weird. When you're mentally well, it passes normally or quickly; when you are severely depressed and anxious, every second is like a day.
THE ONLY reason I have made it without hospitalization is that I have a sick relative who's going in for another brain surgery, and they do not prescribe stimulants at all, even if you are already on them, while in the hospital--the idea being, I think, that the goal of hospitalization is to hold you around for a few days and stimulants are too potentially destabilizing.
This is a nightmare I cannot repeat. Yuck. I shoulda taken a picture of what the bug bomb did to my pills, but I didn't think of it at the time, and didn't know what a hell I was about to experience.
Live, learn.
-z
poster:zonked
thread:1010852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120212/msgs/1010852.html