Posted by b2chica on February 1, 2012, at 8:09:26
In reply to Re: is it even possible to die from. ** Trigger ** » b2chica, posted by SLS on January 28, 2012, at 5:46:27
i have in the past worked with people with TBI in rehab facility. most from accidents but one from gunshot wound and one from meds one from carbon monoxide.
they were so severely effected i can't even fathom the idea of doing that to myself now with my kids. having one more person to morn that is not even dead, and the expense.even if i get actively suicidal i just can't CANT leave my amazing girls alone in this world without my guidance. they and they alone are my saving grace.
but i got to that point the other day 1)too many relaxing meds 2)i really thought i found my perfect mix of meds that worked. just one year of happiness. and the thought of being what i used to be like in front of my children was too much.i think contemplating suicide used to be an 'out' for me when things got too hard.
it used to also be at times not so much the death but the transcendence.
it also used to be (mostly) to end this terrible terrible ache and suffering both in my heart and in my mind.*****
i left work monday as work seemed to be making things worse not to mention i wasn't able to do my job. i stayed home yesterday as well. i stayed in bed, mostly sleeping from 10:30 till 6pm. then went to bed at 9.heard from pdoc mon night after i txt'd him. he was going to research some meds and call me yesterdayhe did not. i mentioned nortryptiline (or however you spell it) and i actually really want to try that one.
this always starts with uncontrollable anxiety.
if only i could control that without being super doped up.thanks Scott.
poster:b2chica
thread:1008450
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120120/msgs/1008986.html