Posted by Vincent_QC on September 16, 2010, at 6:55:20
In reply to Re: sad and frustrated » Vincent_QC, posted by Maxime on September 15, 2010, at 18:15:14
> You wrote some things that I could have written myself. It's sad.
>
> My diagnosis is Bipolar Type 2 and ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified)
>Sorry to hear that Maxime. Which drugs you use now?
Yes i'm from Quebec city and YES the Psychiatric services suck here also, more than in MTL I guess. In Qc we don't have a lot of Psychiatric hospital, we have Robert-Giffard, Roy-Rousseau (That's where I go)and that's it. Both of them don't take inpatient who are treatment resistant for depression or anxiety disorder. They take as inpatient only bi-polar or Schizo peoples who commit suicide or are dangerous for them and the others peoples around them.
I'm dealing with very severe anxiety problems since more than 9 months now (panic disorder, social phobia as well as chronic symptoms like chest pain, numb left arm and hand, slow or too fast pulse rate, dizziness, chronic tension headache, depersonalisation and derealisation, agoraphobia, legs pain, neck pain, jaw pain, teeth pain, eyes pain, decrease cognitives abilities...). I'm always on the panic mood with 10000 chronic symptoms but nothing to do, they don't take me as an inpatient. They don't seem to care and my PDoc always told me it was not good to put anxious peoples in Hospital because when they return outside, they relaspe!
I wanted to be take as an inpatient to start again the Paxil, since I developp an hypersensibility to antidepressants meds and regular meds as well, don't know why but can't start them again, even at very low dose, i'm actually trying to be back on the Paxil on my own and i'm stuck to 0.5 mg only, who is 2,5% of the dose I need to stop the panic disorder and worries... It will be so easy to take me as an inpatient and adjust my medication... but they don't want.
Also, Health Canada is not very smart... My PDoc wanted to import into the Canada the liquid Paxil, to make it more easy for me to start... so he send the papers to Health Canada to the SAP (Special access programm) for drugs not approve in the Canada and we wait 6 months before having an answer and of course they refuse.
The main reason why I wanted to be take as an inpatient was because the Hospital is a safe place for me, and since i'm a lot concern about my heart and have a lot of chronic anxiety symptoms, it will be more easy for me to increase my Paxil dosage and will feel more safe with Doctors around me in case something happen to my heart... Anyway, now i'm stuck on my own and have to take the Paxil at home and will have to increase the Paxil very slowly... so slowly than in 1 year I will probably didn't reach the therapeutic dose of 15 mg I need...
In Qc the services are so bad, you go to the emergency and you can't see a PDoc, you need a reference paper from your family Doc, that's so stupid... and of course, they centralised all the psychiatric services at the same hospital and if you want to see a PDoc, you need first a reference paper from your Family Doc, you have to call at the CLSC (Guichet de la santé mentale), then you wait 3-6 months before meeting a Social worker, than you wait 1 year before having you first appointment with a PDoc... and if the PDoc suck or you don't like him, you can't change because if you complain and ask to see another one, they ask you do do the same process again, mean the CLSC, the Social worker and then the waiting list.
Same for Therapies, At the Psychiatric hospital where I go they have a special individual therapy for anxiety disorders... I was put on a waiting list and had to wait 1 year before I meet the Psychologist... after 6 appointments with her, she show me the door cause I did not answer to the exposure therapy... before that, I was send in an intensive group therapy ( 5 days a week for 2 months) whereI learn a lot of things but it was not individual and it was not useful for me.
If I had money, I will pay to see the Psychologist I want but on the wellfare I can't afford it, so I had to call again the CLSC (Guichet en santé mentale) and I had to wait 4 months for a free Therapy, a Therapy that it's not working very well, my anxiety increase since i'm going there.
I ask my parents to help me for the money and I just start another Therapy, it's a private one and cost 95 $ for one hour... that one seem to be good... but can't go every week because it's too expensive...
Also I don't know if you notice but on the wellfare you don't pay your meds and they always give to you generic meds, and most of them are not as good as the real stuff... for the Paxil the APO generic version is awful...anyway, enough complaints for today! lol
I also have bulimia problem who are sometimes trigger by antidepressant meds, especially the Zoloft and the Effexor-XR... I think morbid obesity with too much diets as a teen and young adult age and the gastric by-pass I had back in 2001 lead to that kind of eating disorder.
> I know that it is really hard to get off Welfare. I finally got off this week when I started a new job. But then I worry if the job will be too for much etc. All the little nagging worries.
>Yes that's hard. I don't work since the end of 2003 now, almost 7 years. I can't imagine returning to work after all those years. I will be so afraid and will don't have the energy to do it. I think it's a part of my anxiety problem. I fear the moment I will have to be back at work... the more longer I wait and the worse it will be of course...
I took 1 year off from work back in 2004 because I had a surgery to repair a hernia and I returned to school in 2005 at the UQAM university in Urban planing and I was in great shape mentally...the Clonazeam worked 1 year for my social phobia, after that period, I start having social phobia again and Montreal turn out to be a big nightmare for me. I was not able to walk on the streets alone or take the metro...was not able to deal with the pressure at school, I was surrounder by bad peoples (most of them was alcoholic or on drugs), I had also an alcohol problem at the time...after 2 years I drop out the University and return live in Quebec city with my parents.
At the time I was thinking that it will be for only 6 months, the time to meet the PDoc and be back on the Paxil to treat the anxiety and social phobia but things turn out to be very different, the waiting list was very long before I had my first appointment, the first PDoc I had was good but not used to old meds and not open minded... I try a lot of meds with him but it was not very helping... That PDoc stop working at this Hospital so I had another one, the new one was used to work with old meds and we start trying meds that turn out to be very bad for me (Parnate and TCA's mostly...), we almost try every meds use on and off label for social phobia and panic disorder and I ending in a worse mental state than before I meet the first PDoc. End of the story... lol
> I want to be able to have energy and go out with friends. But anxiety and depression keeps me from doing it. Also, I have lost a lot of friends over the years because of my deprssion.
>Same here... don'T have the energy to take my shower, I force myself to do it... 3 years ago I was used to take 2-3 shower a day... it was an obsession... I don't have the energy to get out with friends, cant deal with the anxiety, panic attacks while I drive, can't deal with the noise and too much peoples around me. I also loosing now my best friend because of the agoraphobia and the fact that I stay at home most of the time since 2 months and can't drive my car anymore.
Social phobia is not helping also, making friends is really hard for me since the others see me as a problem person because of the anxiety and the agoraphobia.
> I also want the physical pain that comes with my depression to ease up or go away forever.
>Same here... before 2009, I had only social phobia with sometimes a panic attack (once in a while) but nothing else. I didn't realize at the time that the social phobia was not a big problem, I was thinking that it was the worse anxiety state that I will reach in my entire life... but I was so wrong... Before 2009, I was able to have a "normal life", I mean going out, drive the car, go to the shopping center alone and things like that, I was not happy and was anxious and was not able to have a work but didn't had chronic anxiety symptoms 24h a day like now... it's seem to just get worse with time...sometimes I feel hopeless and think I will end my life in that mental state... other days I feel ok, I can sit and watch TV or surf the web but it's making me a lot tired...
May I ask you what kind of pain you have? And did you see a PDoc from the Hôpital Louis-H Lafontaine? I hear it is a good Hospital...
> Do you live in Quebec City? I am in Montreal. Psychiatric services are AWFUL here, they really are.
>Already answer to that ! lol
> Thank you for you post. It made me feel not so alone in this sh*t hole.
Oh no, you're not alone for sure...
poster:Vincent_QC
thread:961940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100908/msgs/962585.html