Posted by Enigma on April 22, 2010, at 15:08:07
ed = every day
I need *anyones* advice here, I am going to post this long list of drugs I've tried along with what effects most of them had.
Like the title says. I hate life and I want to die. I'm 41, have 3 kids, am on disability and have a wife that wants a divorce because my manic side went off on her one day (verbally) and so forth. So I'm lonely as hell, because I was in a loveless marriage (she was in love with me and I was never in love with her, but another manic bad decision was to get married. We actually lasted 17 years. Not I can't get a women because what attractive woman is going to date a soon? to be divorced guy with 3 kids, no job, depressed as hell, and no money? No one.
Anyway, if it wasn't for the kids, I'd kill myself today. My friends ALL suck, and that's the *nicest* way I can possibly put it.. a group of compassionless blankety-blanks. That's to them, I have 0 social life - I had one when I worked, but got laid of for being sick with the bipolar. Tried to keep in touch, but they all alienated me after I lost my job.
So, besided having the chemical, everything in my life could be going great but I'm still miserably depressed depression, I now have the lonliness, friendlessness, 0 social life, etc, to add on top of it.
So Nardil used to work at keeping the suicidal thoughts at bay, but it is no longer working.
I've unsuccessfully tried ALL of the atypical antipsychotics, where some made me feel much better mood-wise but had devastating side effects.Please look through this this and see if you can think of any drugs of drug I can take with nardil (nardil is the ONLY drug that at least, used to work for my mood).
Here's the list. It's pretty big.
Last Updated 04/20/10 (even listing old meds not previously listed)
Blanket Statement about my drug/meds treatment:
In general, most drugs I took apply for the following blanket statement:
Most drugs were started at manufacturers recommended doses, and via following directions/dosageson "sample/starter packs", and/or doctors recommendations. Sample packs, etc were almost always
used first, if they existed. If no serious side effects occurred, the dosage was moved up slowly
over time to manufacturers recommended maintenance dosage. Many drugs were taken for about 3-9
weeks, or much longer for some and discontinued if side effects became intolerable, or no
noticeable AD/anti-mania effect was felt, or the drug "pooped out" over many months of use.
Note: Almost all drugs had some mild to heavy (usually intolerable) side effects (usually 2-4different side effects). Many were similar, and many I cannot recall in detail for each
particular drug. Usually, side effects consisted of dizzyness, light headedness, headaches, out
of touch with reality/other worldly feeling, zombie like feeling, nausea, increased sweating,
anorgasmia, other sexual dysfunction, fatigue (usually severe and most common of all drugs),
insomnia, too much sleep, lack of feeling refreshed from sleep, nightmares, inability to stay
asleep, or to wake up, constant and frequent urination, night terrors - waking up kicking,
punching, yelling, ending as soon as I woke, increased irritability/lack of patience, manic type
feelings, etc.
There were a few other side effects I can't recall at the moment - in general, if the drug
information from the pharmacy listed possible side effects, I almost always suffered from many of
them. I've been, in my opinion, very sensitive to the side effects of these meds, while many
other people who take these drugs, feels little to no side effects (data derived from message
boards of people posting about their experience with these drugs and people I knew who are on
some of these meds or have taken them)
Note: any dates listed are taken from prescription fill dates from the bottles I still have.
Entire range of dosage(s) not listed/cannot recall.
Abilify 10mg - Took in early/mid 2008+2009 worked well for manic symptoms, especially
irritability. Side effects - head, shoulder, etc, twitching. Didnt want dyskinesia to become
permanent
Ambien 04/2010 not very effective, took wih tynelol PM + Nardil, repeatedly woke up through
the night. Did not get to sleep quickly.
Ambien CR - 06/2006 - 12.5 mg x 1 per day - made me have wild dreams/mania and *caused* insomnia,
dicontinued after 2 days
Ativan - took this before switching to Klonopin as it pooped out - only took as needed, for
anxiety
Celexa/Citalopram(20mg) - 03/2006, 04/2006 - 20mg x 1 per day - recall nothing about
effectiveness - most likely, 0 AD effect, discontinued
Concerta ER 35 MG recall nothing about this drug, almost entire bottle depleted took with
Nardil
Cymbalta - Took for less than a week, caused a severe suicidal reaction I needed to be
hospitalized for. Discontinued immediately, suicidal "drive" and uncontrollable crying stopped
after discontinued.
Depakote - Took in Combination with Wellbutrin for years to level me out - found out years later
it was causing all my unexplained *severe* fatigue, so discontinued. Drug did help with
irritability, road rage, etc.
Effexor - Used starter pack - Discontinued after < 1-2 weeks, side effects were the worst of any
drug, turned me into a zombie, became dizzy, light headed, dizzy, had nausea, took 6 MONTHS to
rid the dizziness/nausea from my system - most likely withdrawal, even with tapering off slowly.
Drug should be banned in my opinion.
Emsam - highest dose (ending at 12mg/24hrs) - couldn't tolerate application site reactions - red,
swollen, itchy rash - took lowest dose for 1 month - no AD effect, switched to highest dose for 2
months. Pretty good AD effect (best I've had on a med? but could not tolerate the app. Site
reactions.
Both Emsam and Nardil cause sweating with almost no exertion (drinking coffee, being outside in
sun, vacuuming a room), night sweats every night, severe insomnia - can barely sleep 3-4 hours in
a row and still toss and turn, restless when I wake up - no sleep schedule - Eventually got used
to Nardil enough? so that the insomnia mostly went away. Lunesta helped for a time, as well as
Melatonin - Impromtu naps - can't stay awake, 1-2 a day - No energy all day, fatigue - Mood wasbetter with Emsam, Nardil it is moderate
Fanapt (iloperidone)1 mg (2009) dykisesia side effects took with Nardil
Geodon Taking in combination with Nardil good med for manic symptoms, do not drink alcohol on
this medication no side effects to mention, possibly locking my weight at a certain amount.
(6/3/2009) may have caused dyskinesia stopped for *some* reason
Klonopin 2-4mg, taken as needed to deal with random bouts of anxiety, stress, lack of sleep,
etc. Has helped a great deal with anxiety in general. No real side effects besides fatigue.
It currently helping with sleep (2mg) with Geodon and Nardil. (6/3/2009)
Lamictal - 09/2004, 10/2006 - Last bottle I have shows 100mg/2x day - Lamictal Update -
prescribed again around 10/2006 - read my journal, and it guesses that Lamictal might have been
making me more depressed. No idea if this is true or not. Not even sure why it was prescribed.
Was taking Nardil at the same time.. had complaints of sweating, severe insomnia, and daytime
fatigue.
Lexapro - Used starter pack - Discontinued with 1-2 weeks? or less. Side effects intolerable.
Became too tired, zombie-like, etc, unable to function at all. Couldn't think or concentrate.
Lithium/Eskalith - 08/2005 - 450/x2 day - only took for a few days to augment Nardil - found side
effects like dizzyness and nausea unbearable. Discontinued quickly. Overall total fatigue as
well took with Nardil 2nd time
Lunesta - 5/2006 - 3mg x 1 per day - was working for sleep, pooped out quickly
Mirtazapine 15 MG 2009 - recall nothing about this drug.
Nardil - 11/2005, 07/2006, 9/2006, 11/2006 (to current 4/2010+)- Currently taking for the past
5+? months at 45mg per day, also tried 60mg from time to time, then to 90mg, usually found side
effects intolerable - had the best antidepressant effect as any drug I've tried, but side effects
are severe. Usually constant fatigue, frequent sweating, especially in summer or after small
exertion, frequent urination or difficulity urinating (latter could be seroquel), completely
broken sleep cycle - insomnia, where I can't sleep some nights until 4-6 AM, as well as random
bout of bringing me almost unconscious with fatigue, requiring immediate nap, usually occurring
when I am sitting down. Frequent urination, several times a night, inorgasmia, dizziness,
especially if getting up from a sitting down position. Night terrors, waking up yelling, kicking,
punching, etc. Sometimes can't stop dreaming about the same dream. Sleeping not restful, nor
consistent no matter how hard I try. Sleeping pills prescribed to help, but have had very little
positive effect. 45mg seems too low as depression starts to return, but 60mg usually makes the
above side effect worse, and intolerable. Update - tried to continue Nardil 2 more times
stopping due to side-effects, again, update: 10-08 now taking 90 mg a day mediocre AD side
effects, anorgasmia, severe sweating with little physical effort, but no more fatigue or sleep
waves.
Neurontin 300-600mg depression seemed worse, horrible upper GI problems took with Nardil
Parnate - 06/2005 - Ended at 40mg to day, tried right before Nardil, continued for 1-2 months.
Almost exact same effects and symptoms as Nardil, but on a worse scale, making it intolerable to
take - Forced to discontinue. Felt no AD effect. Started again on 3/16/08 generated mostly
fatigue, but I believe it helped the depression more that most any other drug. Not sure why I
felt no AD effects the first time I tried it. Taken in combination with Abilify (15mg/day) and
Seroquel (200mg/night).
Paxil - Used starter pack, Same experience with Zoloft
Procardia - 06/2005 - 10mg - as needed for hypertensive crisis
Prozac - 02/2005 - Used starter pack, then moved gradually to 40mg/2x day over a few months?
Caused severe anxiety that other meds could not counteract, at highest dose taken (lower doses
has no AD effect) - Some antidepressant effect felt, but ended up causing severe anxiety that
other meds were prescribed to prevent such as Ativan and Klonpin. Anti anxiety drugs could not
keep up with severe anxiety, had to discontinue Prozac.
Restoril - 06/2005 - 15mg x 1-2 day for insomnia - don't remember it working
Risperdal - 05/2005 - 2mg/day, Helped with depression for a while, possibly 4-6 months, then
pooped out, discontinued. Took in combination with WB usually Took with Nardil, 2nd time
Saphris- 11/10/09 gained 15 pounds in 1 week, horrible sweating problems Took with Nardil,
also quit in one week. Now I'm 35 pounds overwieght, just from meds.
Selegeline - Worked on depression for certain amount of time (max dose) then pooped out, switched
back to Nardil
Seroquel - 01/2006 - 25mg x 1 every 4 hours as needed - remember being too tired the next day.
Tried 100mg+ at night to help me sleep (11/20/07) - same side effect - pretty drained the entire
next day. At 300mg it was like taking a sleeping pill but, has serious side effects. On 3-4
occasions when taken before going to bed, had complete disorientation and lost of muscle control
in my legs. Literally had to *crawl* to the bedroom. When out on Seroquel, you would usually
be out cold, which was very dangerous if the family needed me for something in the middle of the
night. Taken in combination 01-02/2008 with Abilify, Selegiline, Vivactil, and Parnate (not all
drugs at once). Like Abilify, it does work very well to lessen manic symptoms. - (6/3/2009)
gained 40 pounds on this medication!
Serzone - 04/2007 - taken for 1.5 months, max dose 700 mg. Each 100 mg increase seemed to
provide AD effects, but they only lasted 1-3 days. Quit at 700mg as it didn't seem to provide
any sustained AD effect. No notable side-effects to speak of.
Strattera - 40mg bottle still exists/not sure how many pills a day, do not recall why I took
this, possibly anti-mania, and to level me out?
Symbyax - Used starter pack, then had been taking 6/25, 6/50, 12/50 (x1/day), do not recall how
many pills per day on other dosages - Similar to Prozac experience, but not as much anxiety. Has
some antidepressant effect, then pooped out after some months, so discontinued - possibly other
side effects I don't recall.
Tranylcypromine Sulfate 10 mg (same as Parnate?) quit almost immediately
Trileptal - 12/2003, 03/2004 - Last bottle I have shows 600mg/2x day - do not recall anything
about this drug - maybe anti-mania, or to level me out. Found another bottle - 300mg 4x a day -
judging by the amount I have left, I must have given up on this med pretty quickly. Might be
worth trying again. Started again 11/27 (200 mg 1st dose).
Topamax - 12/2006, 01/2007, 03/2007 - 25mg x 2 a day, later 100mg x 1 per day - no positive
effect noted, except for weight loss, and had to discontinue due to have no appetite at all.
Worked the first time I tried it, but not the 2nd time (for weight loss - trying again 4-22-10,
real version, tried genertic and has a host a awful GI side-effects, like having a terrible
hangover - headache, stomach ache, etc.
Vivactyl - 12/2006 - 5mg x 3x day - horrible side effects, severe irritability, rage, anger,
discon. after 2-3 days
Wellbutrin - Took for years(2-3?, first AD prescribed, around 2000?), ended with XL 450mg/day -
Started with early versions and ended to extended release, 1-2 day type pills. No anti-depressant
ever felt, only felt increased daily energy, which is what I took it for. Side effects consisted
of heavy abnormal sweating, lack of appetite, and manic-type symptoms. Finally discontinued as
"pooped out", no longer gave me energy.
Xanax - 03/2005 - .5mg x 3x day - Took for anti-anxiety - remember some side effects or no med
effect - K-pin works better
Zoloft - Used starter pack, ended with 2x50mg/day? Unable to recall. Dosage raised slowly,
discontinued after 1-2 months, no anti-depressant effect was felt.
Zyprexa - 08/2006, 12/2006, 01/2007 - 2.5mg x 1-2 day - taken for mania symptoms, caused fairly
severe weight gain and severe increase in appetite, had to discontinue. Do not recall any
positive effect. Last dose 5mg x 3x day.
Well, there ya go. I hope one of you can help me.
I've been diagnosed treatment resistant, bipolar II for 15-20 years now, and it's worse every year.Without ANY drugs in my system, I cry 4-5 times a day uncontrollably and almost need to be restrained so I won't go out and kill myself. The psychological pain is immeasurable and impossible to endure on any lengthly basis.
Please help.
-Enigma.
poster:Enigma
thread:944558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100416/msgs/944558.html