Posted by meltingpot on April 19, 2010, at 7:14:41
In reply to Severe anhedonia, posted by Maximus on April 16, 2010, at 11:48:18
Hi,
When I was drug nieve in my 20s it felt as though pretty much anything I was prescribed for depression worked, I was so fortunate. First prothiaden (tricyclic) and later on Seroxat (SSRI). They both worked the same in that they increased pleasure, relaxation, motivation, sense of reward etc etc. I felt no difference between the two drugs other than I felt slightly more stimulated on the Seroxat initially (not euphoric but getting there.
Later on in my 30s when the Depression and anxiety came back for the first time ever I felt suicidal. For two years I tried so many drugs that all acted in different ways and to be honest there wasn't much difference in how I reacted to the SSRIs or the SNRIs, they all seemed to just increase the anxiety and give me more energy but it was a very anxious energy, not motivated energy.
Finally after two years a higher dose of Seroxat suddenly kicked in (after four days) and the anxiety seemed to cease and there was a return in pleasure and reward. Three years later and the Seroxat seemed to lose it's affect and what I've missed the most is the lack of reward and pleasure over the last five years.
I think another poster put it so well when they said that "everything just seems muted all of the time". I can function fairly well and I can do things, I go to work, I apply for other jobs, I work at the weekend as well as during the week, I go out and meet people, I write a lot but I feel bland all of the time, I can't even seem to get a rush from cigarettes or coffee. I don't really look forward to holidays anymore (and haven't for five years) and although I still have quite a strong libido I'm too tired and apathetic in the evening to do anything about it.
I've tried Clomipramine and I have to say that whilst it helped the depression and anxiety I still had that feeling of anhedonia, of the feeling that life is just passing by and nothing changes.
I'm not sure what to try anymore. I've been told by the NHS to try "mindfullness" in other words to just accept my condition and I'm contesting this! It seems like a cop out on their part.
I would consider ECT, in fact I would consider trying anything to just feel alive again.
Denise
poster:meltingpot
thread:943565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100416/msgs/943950.html