Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:04:48
Header: if you dislike whining, please don't read.
God knows why. For 3-4 days, I woke up and felt o.k. Like, really, who was that depressed, f'd-up, neurotic person? It was really weird. Carpe Diem, I thought. I'll take it.
This morning upon awakening, the flooding back of futility, the fatigue, the aches, the inability to counter any negative thought, the haunted house. What's the f'n point?
I know so many of you soldier on, year after year. I hesitate to whine. In my own quiet way, I march along, too. After feeling unexpectedly good, this feels cruel. What can I expect? How can I plan a life never knowing how I'll feel? And now the fr*gg'n exhaustion. At my age, what are the chances of healing? Bulldog mentioned in another thread, (paraphrased) when does one just have to come to acceptance?
Anyone who has read this, please don't judge me too harshly for whining. And for the heavy use of rhetorical questions. I need a hand to hold. Any one free today?
poster:floatingbridge
thread:934207
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100113/msgs/934207.html