Posted by Existentialist on August 22, 2007, at 12:23:13
Hi, I am diagnosed as having inattentive ADD which for most of my life has been in the form of feeling anxious, depressed and having a hard time getting things together. I took my first dose today 20mg of ritalin, and it seemed ok for around the first hour. I enjoyed the feeling of calm and control it gave me. Instead of impulsive thoughts to sort out I could just think about whatever I wanted. It had calmed down my usually noisy mind. I was sort of in this nice little zone, but a bit disconnected from the rest of the world. The calm initially led me to believe I must be ADD because I felt no speedy or euphoric effect (like supposedly non ADDers might?)
But then my zone starts to get a little boring and lonely. Pretty soon nothing is happening mentally. It's not a crash or anything. I just don't have desire to do anything. I'm fine just sitting still for probably the first time ever. It's calmer than any benzo I've tried.
I could get into something, but it seems dull. It just blanked me out. As far as motivation and sex drive, and personality, or desire to interact with others, or to epathetically interpret TV, it seemed boring. Even video games I often played to deal with the mental chaos seemed boring to me. Yet I was still more focused.
I'm starting to come off it now after 3 hours, I know because I'm having a strong appetite coming back. It had maybe an hour and half that it was good. Now I just feel mentally calm, yet even more unmotivated not on task than if I had not taken it. It just seems like it's sucked me away. Socially I feel like I have nothing to say, no reason to say anything. And an impulse for creativity is gone too. Nothing creative happens, I can't brainstorm anymore, and I'm usually a pretty furious brainstormer.
Is this normal? Would adderall make me feel more energized and interested in things? I've had real problems with lethargy after mono 7 months ago and am returning to college after having trouble with dropping out and not completing classes before I even got sick. I was also diagnosed when I was young, 8 as ADD. I was looking to get a stimulant to deal with phsyical and mental tiredness and lack of focus and organization, and move on with my life. I'm 22 and going to be a sophomore in college where my friends have now graduated.
poster:Existentialist
thread:777808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070815/msgs/777808.html