Posted by liliths on February 19, 2007, at 12:09:11
In reply to Re: Back from Exile: Welcome back Q! » liliths, posted by Quintal on February 17, 2007, at 20:30:41
hi Q
thanks for asking - it's a big mess
I did post an update on the work board after the hearing:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/723561.htmlbut have since had things happen... such as actually getting a copy of their contract, which has caused me to have a fit!
It's a 'standard' addict/alcoholic's contract and since I'm neither, I can't see the point in complying with something so stringent. I must make daily calls to 'discover' if it's my day to get to a lab within 12 hours (though they won't tell you where the labs are until you sign so you haven't a clue how far you may have to travel) and pee in front of someone (of course, at your own expense), ALL my doctors must provide quarterly reports (again at my own expense), I must obtain approval for EVERY prescription medication before being allowed to take it and I'm not allowed ANY alcohol
does ANY of this even make sense to you?? And the contract that they get fat off the state from is for 5 f***ing years!!
there's supposedly an appeals process but damned if I can get anyone to help me figure it out and the clock's ticking... which means if I want to appeal, I obviously have to get a lawyer. That means looking at legal aid or something but it means making an effort I'm too tired to make. Every earlier attempt tp speak with an atty was a bust. Bewteen PRN being a big dog no one wants to touch to the fact that they all react when they hear the word "painkiller" and immediately assume I am an addict. It doesn't matter that in 5 years, I never needed to change my therapeutic dose... nor that I've since stopped it. Though I had oral surgery last week and I will say, that's one of the perks of not taking it daily - it is more effective for pain LOL
they've made the entire experience so awful... it's simply not worth fighting for anymore. I won't pretend I'm not miserable about it, but I also won't pretend to have any energy left to fight a grinding machine, which only seems to chew me up and spit me out.
I've been off the hydro for awhile. Starting taking tianeptine, which seems to help some - particularly in the mornings when I take my ADD meds.
but they don't make a pill to stabilize a depression created by external sources. Even the hydro doesn't make me feel better enough anymore. I barely leave the house and just feel frozen into a kind of blank emptiness
nothing gets through. I tell myself I don't care - it's time to move forward but at night instead of sleeping, my head rants about this and I wake up dreading every moment of every day
haven't posted much here because even writing has become hard and I do apologize, as I appear to be having a particularly vicious day
I'm angry with no outlet and no energy to even bother finding one
I'd better go - nothing good's coming out of this post - again, I do apologize for whining
namaste,
lilith> Thanks liliths, I didn't see any new posts or threads about what came of your hearing. You must have had it by now? How are you and what happened?
>
> Q
poster:liliths
thread:732459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070219/msgs/734118.html