Posted by Fivefires on February 12, 2007, at 17:20:50
In reply to Re: HELP - NERVOUS BREAKDOWN #2, posted by notfred on February 9, 2007, at 21:48:43
I had a crying jag or rather I cried hysterically somewhere where I could be alone and not heard, for a few hours. This was followed by a calm feeling. Then I began to feel weakness. I began to be unable to walk w/o holding onto something. I started hyperventilating, constantly, .. only relief was awakening after falling asleep, a short-lived period of feeling calm. I couldn't eat. I couldn't move. I became weaker and weaker. Daughter took me to P. I was shaking ... my entire body. Admitted to hospital mental ward. To me, I felt like I should be on a medical ward, but said nothing as knew they'd see I had a mental diagnosis. All peeps on ward were suicidal. Until I was given Valium, I had to hold onto rails to walk, I had a stooping posture, couldn't eat, labored breathing to hyeprventilating, pounds were falling off me .. food would not go down well IF I could get it to my mouth re: tremor. Had episodes of feeling a full pressure in the top of my head. Had episodes of near passing out. I think I lost nearly 20lbs in a matter of one week. All symptoms were relieved by Valium. The symptoms overall were physical, NOT MENTAL!
I don't mean to sound 'mean', but I CERTAINLY KNOW THE DIFF' BETWEEN A PANIC ATTACK and what happened above. And, if you think I was 'losing my mind', nothing could have been further from the truth. The only time I felt a touch of loss of contact with sanity were the times the P had forgotten to write my Valium order, I hyperventilated hard, felt pressure in the top of my head, and once, just once, thought peeps around me were talking about me. I have some medical/mental knowledge re: my past profession. So, during this time, instead of giving in to what wasn't real, I tried to keep from looking up at peeps around me and told myself over and over and over again 'you are imagining this', until I finally got my freakin' Valium dose, and this 'imagination that peeps were talking about me' went away.
I've 'lost it' and quit jobs or husbands or boyfriends or broken hair brushes as they hit the wall.
I've had panic attacks (feel like heart attacks I suppose ... heavy hard pressure on/in chest and feels like restricting your throat so shallow breathing) while sitting quietly not thinking of anything in particular.
Somewhere someone knows what happened. At this point I will begin calling it a 'physical breakdown', because the moment I mention 'nervous breakdown', someone throws it into the mental health category, and thinks it was something like the incidents in the prior paragraph.
Please accept my apology if I seem to be 'reacting to your post' in a defensive manner, but 'I know what happened to me was a very dangerous thing' and I'm so frustrated by the lack of mental health progessionals and peers realizing just how dangerous it was.
sincerely, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:731387
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070207/msgs/732208.html