Posted by Larry Hoover on February 7, 2007, at 12:53:56
In reply to Re: holy mackeral laima!, posted by laima on February 6, 2007, at 23:40:48
>
> Hmm, well maybe there is something to this- makes sense- one developes a tolerance to a supposedly very strong substance, it becomes never enough...body overcomes it?But certainly, what we're talking about is not the most common experience. I think the phenomenon we had is not typical. For a variety of reasons, I suspect it is under-reported, nonetheless.
> I shudder to think about possible consequences of my antidepressant use.
I hear you, but what might the consequence of never having used one be?
> In any case, I really do feel amazingly less anxiety sans benzo- I'm genuinely stunned. For the first time in several years- no panic attacks, no daily vomitting before going to work, no hyperventilation, no emergency room visits- since no benzos.
Once I got through the withdrawals completely (definitely not during withdrawals), the pain was actually more tolerable. It had lost it's sharpness, despite being of similar intensity. I struggle to describe it accurately. The pain was worse on the opiates, than off. But that is only true for this latter period of dysregulation.
> It's been about 3 months. And I sleep much better. They were a godsend at first. And I do still miss the glorious relief of sinking into the totally anxiety-free zone which I used to experience at one time. Now, definately not anxiety-free, but nothing like what I just described.
I am sorely tempted to resume using my painkillers, having just resumed physiotherapy. So far, it's just meditation and me.
> Did I read somewhere that long-term benzo use does something to shut or slow down certain receptors in the brain? And so when benzo suddenly goes away, these receptors go nuts, overwhelmed by all stimuli?
That seems reasonable, but what happened to us? How is it that continued use of stable doses met with such dramatic loss of drug effects? This was more than tolerance, methinks.
> Oh yea- as in my own case, easy to blame the victim indeed- as desperate victim ups dosages that doctor won't raise, in vain attempt to ease excruciating and escalating symptoms, just as an effort to still be able to function or get by, or to simply not crack-up.There is a potent stigma to also surmount. Yes.
> Very sorry to hear of your experience, Larry.Thank you.
> I'm glad you pulled through. It could not have been easy.
Not easy, but necessary. And I think it was that realization that made enough difference to carry me through. The staff at the pain clinic have made numerous comments about how amazed they are that I pulled it off, on my own. You gotta do what you gotta do, is all.
Thanks for the validation. It's very important to me.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:730251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070207/msgs/730797.html