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Re: Ugottahavehope...waiting :) » Crazy Horse

Posted by blueberry on April 30, 2006, at 18:14:13

In reply to Ugottahavehope...waiting :), posted by Crazy Horse on April 30, 2006, at 17:26:28

> Hey, i spilled my guts for you...i'd like to hear your story now please. :)
>
> Monte

Ok. I follow your posts all the time. So here's my story...
After 5 years of trying all kinds of things for depression, finally wound up with a good combo of prozac and zyprexa which worked decent enough for 5 years. Then weird things started happening, like waking up with a feeling of dread and butterflies, very strange scary feeling. Added st johns wort. Amazing results. The dread butterflies went away, and I had the best antidepressant antianxiety response of my life. It pooped out in 4 months.

Upon weaning off sjw, I got hit with massive panic attacks and anxiety and viscious trembling that lasted months. Couldn't even handle prozac or coffee any more. Out of control. Didn't know it at the time, but sjw raises zyprex levels by 300%. It was a 3 month terror nightmare coming off prozac, coffee, artificially high zyprexa dose, and the benzo+dopamine effect of sjw.

Lexapro and depakote ended the nightmare, with zyprexa still on board but bye bye to prozac. But lexapro was useless for depression. I felt bad. Weaned off it, doc started trying me on natural stuff. All were too weird, too freaky, and too short lived. Weaned off zyprexa.

Have been a wreck for almost 3 months now. Massive anxiety I never used to have. Terror, fear, paranoia...all things I never had before...along with hefty major depression. The worst part is that most meds out there make the ringing in my ears unbearably loud. The ones that quiet it down make me feel worse.

What to do now? I get headaches every day thinking about and can't shut my mind down. Every day I manage to stuggle hour by hour, but each day I also think I should be in a hospital. Decisions decisions. My doc is just about as much out of control as I am.


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