Posted by Enigma on April 12, 2006, at 13:15:58
In reply to Re: MAOI's and permanent sleep problems??? » Enigma, posted by Don_Bristol on April 11, 2006, at 23:35:08
Thanks for all the info.
Unfortunately, the rage stuff, violent fantasies and the like, have been with me for many, many years. Started a little after puberty, after having violent arguments with my so-called parents, and troubles with other kids in school, etc. It's like the beast I keep "at bay", not acting on the impulses in any way. I don't even spank my children, ever. :)
I use my family (wife and kids) to control anything stupid I might "want" to do... In other words, say I want to hurt someone (and it's ALWAYS someone who, let's say "wronged" me), I don't, as I don't want to go to jail, throw my life away, hurt my family in any way, and so on. It's under control - unfortunately the depression isn't.
I've had therapy a number of times, over the years, and it has never helped me rid myself of these violent fantasies. Honestly, in any of my latest therapy sessions, I don't even bring up the subject. Most people I know don't know about them, and I probably shouldn't be sharing this on-line either. But, I'm just "Enigma" right? ;)
I have NO current or future plans on hurting anyone, no matter how much I might want to.
I really hope I didn't spook anyone. Unlike others, I'm actually "used to" these thoughts, as I've had them for so many years, and I've just learned to live with them.
I still think these are the least of my worries. First and foremost, I need to be depression free so I can enjoy life again, then, go back to making a living. This is what I most of all. Who here doesn't?
poster:Enigma
thread:631813
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060412/msgs/632194.html