Posted by Patricia Risi on February 19, 2006, at 22:16:08
In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? » damian, posted by damian on February 18, 2006, at 19:57:49
> Hi, its damian . For scott who asked if i am seeing a phychyatriste, accually no i am not and i dont think my doc knows how i REALLY FEEL because as far as the suicidal thought i have not told her. I am afraid to because i cannot go to the hospital. I just cant go. i dont want my family to know i dont want my kids to know and i dont want my husband to know to what point i feel sick. I dont want to hurt anywone with my problems and all i think about is how to get out without hurting anyone. anyway got to go now i am not well tonight and i really dont want to bore anyone. damian
Hi Damian...I know exactly how you feel....its the weirdest thing...I had the exact same feeling a few weeks ago and I was so embarassed to phone the hospital and my husband dosnt quite understand depression and the suicidal thoughts that go through our heads....my family has absolutely no clue...they dont want to hear whats happening to me...they want to "fix" me so THEY feel better....anyways...what I ended up doing was phoning my psychiatrist and leaving a message asking for a sooner appointment...of course I couldnt hold it together on the phone but just that little release actually made me feel better....my psychiatrist phoned the next morning and we booked an appointment for the following week. The way he put it to me is this" Just think of as going to the hospital as a little break for yourself so you can be taken care of for once...just recharge your battery and then you will feel better....something to that effect...it sounded pretty damn good. I know its hard with all the guilt and social unacceptance that go along with depression but these people who work at the hospital in the psych ward deal with our situation and much worse everyday...they are not in that profession to judge us. I mean i'm not one to talk...I called my doctor...maybe if you cant quite make the step yet....get a phone number where you know you wont be talking to someone person to person and you can just leave a message. Would that help? Is it too much to deal with someone live on the phone when you are feeling down? Does writing help you? If its the same feeling I had...and it sounds like it was...wanting to call the hospital but a sort of pride(dont know how else to put it...embarassment?) made me turn away from that idea...but in a panic...I knew I had to contact someone who could help me....and having a therapist is a really good idea...you trust them and you know you can turn to them when you need to. Maybe there is a phone line you could call when you arnt too depressed...and maybe get that set in place in case you need it for another time...its always different looking at things when you arnt in the moment. I was told that when you are depressed its like looking through sunglasses...everything is darkened. My therapist told me this after I told him that I didnt think I had ever not been depressed. Anyways...I really hope my rambling will help you in some way...maybe we can help each other....I have a 9 month old son and have just gone through post partum depression on top of my major depressive disorder. You dont have to do it alone....you cant! I will always forward any advice that is given to me if you would like...hopefully it can help you feel your best!...take care Damian
poster:Patricia Risi
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060219/msgs/611254.html