Posted by gillettecavalcade on December 19, 2005, at 15:39:41
I have been suffering servere anxiety since i was at high school and i am 22 now. I can't leave my house anymore because i can't look people in the eyes and if someone stares at me for too long i have the sudden urge to burst out crying.....i just have to run away! Also i think that there is a conspiracy in my town and everyone actually knows what i am going through and plays on it. I know for a fact people laugh at me when i go out due to the symtoms. Shaking, sweating, voice trembling and the actual panic attacks. I have tried to talk to my family but they don't really understand the magnitude of my illness. I have been changing gp's all the time for years now.....and i don't even bother going to see anyone anymore because all they seem to give me are ssri's which clearly don't agree with me. When i was on prozac 20mg i had awful mood swings and i just wanted to kill myself. That was the first time i tried to kill myself and i was hospitilized due to back pains(due to the overdose of paracetomol). When i woke up in hospital i felt i was reborn again and wanted a fresh start. Went to see a pdoc who gave me a prescription for benzodiazapines(klonopin i think) .....and here is the weird thing, Due to nhs procedures i had to get permission from my actual gp and he refused to sign the prescription and gave me celexa(citalopram). Took them and they made my anxiety worse....in fact extreme. I tried to explain to him that i have had bad experiences with ssri's....but to no avail. Went on a small weekend break to get away from it all and i nearly put myself in a coma due to consumption of alcohol and other substances.....2nd attempt to kill myself!! I was in a mess.......i didn't care about living because i was in so much pain. Here i am now.....no job, no friends, no aspects......I have lost faith in the nhs. My family are now really trying to help me out(finally understanding the magnitute of the problem) .....thank god for family. I am either going to self medicate or go private......i'll keep you posted.
poster:gillettecavalcade
thread:590415
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051211/msgs/590415.html