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Re: Xanax and humming/ringing in the ear » TomV

Posted by Mr.Scott on April 22, 2005, at 1:18:31

In reply to Re: Xanax and humming/ringing in the ear » Mr.Scott, posted by TomV on April 21, 2005, at 22:00:47

When I had my first 'breakdown' if you will... Nothing came to the rescue of a 17 year old formerly cool as hell dude who was now lying on the floor of his parents living room for three days like xanax did. I could not leave the house and had frequent panic attacks on top of a severe depression. I would get so anxious I thought maybe I was gay and that was the root of my problems. I was totally and completely LOST. However...over time I lost track of where that episode ended and my more than intimate relationship with benzo's began. Now I suspect all they do 13 years later is contribute to a flat affect and a chronically depressed personality. I'm often irritable, still anxious and depressed at a low level and my life just hasn't materialized as nicely as I thought it would. I know that last statement lacks any gratitude, but thats how I feel right now. I now take 20-30mgs adderall along with the clonazepam .75mg. Sometimes i think just to counteract the sedation and brain impairment benzos cause when taken chronically and long term. In May I'm checking into a hospital to rid myself of these drugs and give myself 6 months recovery to see exactly what I need medically if anything and to finally find out what I want out of my life. For years after college I've just been gliding about trying to blot out my misery through psychiatry.

Scott


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