Posted by 4mygrls on January 17, 2005, at 14:15:29
episode? I am dx'd with bipolar nos. I don't have the type of mania where you go without sleep or talk like crazy. i get angry. real angry. i get to where i feel nothing but anger. i get very self destructive. this has been going on for a very long time. i get these episodes usually once a month but i get real bad ones very seldom. i can't hold down a job for nothing. if it's the meds that make it impossible to work, it's my mentally incapable of dealing with people. I am married and have 4 kids. I can't take care of them when i'm like this. Usually i get in a huge fight with my husband and he says very hurtful things and physical tries to remove me from the house.I always end up in physical pain from him. The anger is always directed at him and not the kids. but he loves to bring the kids into it and make sure that they know everything i say but forget what he says. I really do want to leave but have nowhere to go. just so you know, i'm currently taking klonopin and wellbutrin. i've tried every kind of ssri and many bipolar meds. the bipolar meds make me very emotional and make my rollercoaster ride even worst. I don't know what to do anymore. If i go see my pdoc he's just going to give me another med to try and i'm tired of it. i want to disapear but i don't want my kids to hate me. i want to go to sleep and not wake up. but i also know i'll go to hell if i do that. i hate life. right now i'm too tired to do anything. it would be so much easier if someone would take my life. my kids don't need to see this anymore. i may get better in a few days but it will happen again.
poster:4mygrls
thread:443205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050113/msgs/443205.html