Posted by Racer on September 23, 2004, at 11:54:01
In reply to I AM BACK -------help please xDESPERATEx, posted by crazychickuk on September 23, 2004, at 6:06:12
Donna, honey, you know that you need something. You know that because you keep looking for it, and you keep posting here, and you keep going back to see doctors to get something to help you. You went to see the doctor to *ask* for Effexor again, remember?
Now you've got it, and you don't want to take it. You're afraid that it will have problems. Do you recognize *why* you're afraid to take it? It's "anxiety" that's making you afraid. You've had such bad times lately, honey, that anything in this world will be frightening, and will create problems for you. If I gave you a chewable Vitamin C tablet right now, you'd tell me that it gave you mouth ulcers -- because you've been hypersensitized by all the bad experiences you've had lately.
I've just gone through something very similar, and you can ask a few people who've held my hand through it if I was any less freaked out than you are. The answer is "no" -- I was equally freaked out, and feeling totally hopeless, and generally wanting to throw all the pills handed to me out the window and just crawl under the bed to hide with the cats.
OK. Now that we've examined the problem, that's out of the way, and we have to start looking at the solution. Ready?
First things first. Which of your symptoms are *most* problematic for you? My guess is that the anxiety is more of a problem than the depression itself. The anxiety is preventing you from getting help for either the depression or the anxiety. (That's recursive, if you think about it.) What can be done about the anxiety? Well, you've not had any luck with the benzos, right? How about a low dose of one of the second generation anti-psychotics? Something like a low dose of zyprexa? Or you could try what I'm now taking, a very low dose of a beta blocker. (It's working a treat for me, by the way, but it wears off a little more rapidly than I'd like. Then again, it's only been a week so far.)
The second thing you have to do is to get your mind solidly around the fact that *every* drug out there will have side effects, but that a lot of them are adjustment phase side effects that will wear off. None of the drugs out there works the first day, the first week, or sometimes the first month. If you want to get relief, you will have to suffer through those side effects without getting the benefits of the drug at the same time. That's just the way the world works. If you really want to get relief, Donna, you will have to decide that you will suffer through that period. If you're not willing to do so, then you simply will not get the relief you're looking for. It's harsh, but it's the way it works, and ain't nothing going to change it.
If you really and truly need quicker relief, there are a couple of roads open to you. You could talk to your doctor about being experimental and trying four days at 4mgs of dexamethasone, a corticosteroid that can give an almost immediate jumpstart anti-depressant effect. That should help get you over the hump, and might even last long enough for the Effexor to start working. I very much doubt that any clinical practitioner will actually do this, but it's always possible. The other option would be to go on an MAOI. They are said to have a faster effect than a lot of other meds.
For long term relief, though, Donna, you're going to have to plan on getting yourself to a therapist, and to putting some other efforts into your recovery. If you can't get to a therapist right now, try a gym. If you can't manage a gym, get yourself a yoga or Pilates tape -- AND USE IT DAILY! Think about biofeedback, to learn relaxation techniques. All those things can help you learn to control your anxiety symptoms, which should also improve your depressive symptoms. But those are things that you will have to do for yourself.
The benefit of doing any of those things, by the way, is that if you are serious about them, they can help you manage your symptoms to the point that you may indeed be able to taper off drugs at some point. That way, when you start taking this Effexor, you will not have it in your mind that this is forever. You'll be able to say, "It's helping me get out of this pit, and it's only for [x] years."
Donna, honey, listen to this part carefully. The longer you spin around without treatment, the more damage you do to yourself and your child. The longer this goes on, and the more damage it does, the longer you'll have to take these drugs, and the more chance you have of having frequent relapses. If you do not want to feel like this forever, you really need to take a deep breath and make up your mind that you can live through whatever the Effexor dishes out to you over the first two months. That's it. If, after two months, the problems it is causing you are still too much for you to manage, then you can stop.
Surely, to get relief from this agony you've been going through for so very long now, you can live through two months of discomfort? Discomfort is all it is, Donna, just discomfort. It will not do nearly as much damage to you as the untreated psychological problems are doing to you.
Believe me, I do understand, and I do empathize with you. When I say that I went through something very similar, I can only say that I'm very, very fortunate to have a couple of very, very caring and wonderful people who were very gentle and very firm with me. One of them called me daily, from halfway across the country, to remind me of most of what I've said here to you. He chided me gently, and he made it very clear that he cared about me. That gave me the courage to get through it. You've got this board to get a lot of the same support.
So, find a way to get support to help you through the adjustment phase. And take the meds. Whether you go to the doctor to try to find something for the anxiety, or you just take the Effexor, find someplace to report regularly on the adjustment effects, and get support to help you through them. And take the meds.
No one likes taking these meds, kiddo. We certainly wouldn't take them if they weren't necessary. You've got it tougher than a lot of others, because of the problems you've been having. Now that you've been sensitized, it's like an allergy for you. The problem is, the doctors you're seeing obviously aren't offering you the support you need. You can get it here, though. Decide what you're going to do, and do it.
Best wishes.
poster:Racer
thread:394008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040921/msgs/394112.html