Posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 13:05:13
In reply to Re: Depression and Mentally Challenging Work » Emme, posted by partlycloudy on September 16, 2004, at 12:25:31
I'll just add to it:
1. If you can't really manage the actual writing, make the most detailed outline you can. Then, when you sit down to try to work, instead of a stretch of three to four hours in front of you, you'll have a stretch of individual assignments in front of you, discrete chunks of what you're trying to convey. Writing these separately may help you finish more easily, just because you aren't staring at a HUGE project, but a lot of much smaller projects.
1.a. My rule for writing outlines, by the way, helps me a lot -- and I've managed a few pretty darned good pieces during major depressive episodes. (The secondary benefit, by the way, to writing anything even barely passable during a depressive episode is that it does help boost your self-esteem.) I break everything up into threes: three main points, with three subpoints each, and generally with three supports for each subpoint. It may be a bit obsessive, but the result was always good enough for the purpose, and having that "rule" helped create a structure that made it easier for me to outline my piece.
2. Talk to your doctor about a medication to address the nightly guilt-panic-fests. If you're not sleeping at night, you're certainly not going to be working at anything like an acceptable level. Some choices are low doses of the second generation anti-psychotics, which my doctor says also help with speeding up response to the anti-depressants themselves; actual sleeping pills; Gabitril, which is an anti-convulsant used for anxiety as well; low doses of beta-blockers, which help head off the physical responses to anxiety; adding Remeron to your Effexor, which might improve your AD response and tends to be sedating; Trazadone, which is an older anti-depressant that tends to be sedating and is often used for sleep; and benzos, which are just basically anxiolytics. Addressing the sleep is very likely to help improve your functioning during the day.
3. As Emme said, remember to give yourself credit for what you *do* do. Here's a possibly helpful story for you: during my last depressive episode, I ended up in the hospital with something liver related that acted like mono. Everyone knows the after effects of mono, right? I was wiped out for *months* after that, between that and the drugs that I was taking at the time. For an idea of what "wiped out" meant, I didn't have the strength or energy to eat for a couple of weeks after I got out of the hospital. My ex-bf, who took me in during that period *after* we broke up, would feed me, because I couldn't hold the cup or bowl. I could only manage things like tomato soup, and one can lasted me four or five meals. Got the picture? Now, in that case, I wasn't pressuring myself to *do* a lot, as you can imagine. (Honestly -- I watched Teletubbies every day, because it was about as challenging as I could manage. Other than that, I slept.) Depression is as *real* as that was, but I still find myself pressuring myself to accomplish more than I am managing. You're probably growing familiar with this phenomenon yourself, right? Well, that's a place to start.
You use up energy applying that pressure to yourself, and that energy could be put to better use by applying it to your work. So, my advice is to learn to give yourself credit for everything you do do, no matter how little it seems, because some part of you is too sick right now to manage more than teletubbies and a few swallows of soup.
3.a. More advice on this subject: Write down *everything* you do, every day. If you wash the dishes, write it down. If you write an outline, write it down. If you go to the grocery store, write that down, too. Even if they're the routine things that you know you have to do, and you know you will do, write them down anyway. One of the worst parts of depression is that it lies to you: it reminds you of all the things you haven't done, all the ways you disappoint yourself, but it hides from you those things you've actually accomplished. Having a writen record of what you've actually accomplished can help you recognize those lies.
4. Again, repeating what Emme said about the stories on this board: the nature of Psychobabble is that we come here when we need support, or to complain about our meds, or to find suggestions for alternative meds. Those of us who have been here for a long while tend to disappear when we stabilize and go on with our lives. The stories you read, as a result, are likely to give you a rather skewed picture of the effectiveness of these meds. Many of us have tried so many meds over time that we're even more sensitized to problems with them, and in some cases -- like my own -- to be pretty danged gun shy about them. We're not unbiased, so don't expect that our experiences will be predictive of your own.
Best luck to you, and best luck with Effexor. Remember, you mileage will vary, and this is a great place to come for support and information.
poster:Racer
thread:391494
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040915/msgs/391524.html