Posted by Tony P on May 25, 2004, at 15:34:08
In reply to Medication update, posted by geno on May 25, 2004, at 12:51:08
You sound a lot like me - mixed depression / anxiety / social phobia / ADD / OCD etc., then because nothing else quite works, we self-medicate. Much of the time I'm either denned up in my bedroom reading one book after another, or doing something/anything on the computer (jigsaws, finances, posting here - it's all compulsive). It usually takes an appointment or running out of crucial groceries (like pop or cookies!) or forcing myself to a meeting to get me out of my room.
Do you know about the psycho-babble Substance Abuse board - it may be a more appropriate place to discuss some of these issues; you'll get fewer responses perhaps, but they'll have more direct experience.
Mostly I can only empathize with you as I'm taking a different set of meds (except the same dose of Klonopin), but having the same problems! I've received plenty of advice on changing my behaviour, as I expect you have too, but change is hard - and my disease(s) tell me to do all the wrong things. I've been isolating for a week or more, and I've now been up for 15 hours solid posting here - how compulsive can I get?
RE meds, Ambien is very short-acting - are you having any trouble with waking up after only a few hours sleep? I was for a long time on a double dose (15 mg) of Zopiclone (Imovane), which is very similar but supposed to be longer-acting - but for months I've been waking up after 2-3 hours sleep anyway. I have just recently been switched to Restoril/Temazepam (yes, yet another benzo) which is workig a bit better (4-5 hours of sleep and I can fall asleep again faster), but I'm concerned with how much total benzos I'm taking. Maybe they're contributing to my lack of motivation to get out and do normal things in real life, but even with what I'm taking I get pretty hyper too at times.
My main medication is Lamictal, which combines mood-stabilization with antidepressant effect. It's supposed to have some anti-anxiety effect, according to my pdoc, although my experience is the opposite. It's working reasonably well, but I also needed (at least at first) to add some Klonopin to balance the activation/anxiety. Nevertheless, even with the Klonopin I'm still hyper half the time (when I'm not crashing and doing nothing but read,read,read) and having trouble even going to bed, let alone sleeping or behaving like a "normie" during the day.
Like you, if I weren't taking an antidepressant, I'm sure I'd be out there self-medicating (to put it politely) and I have received the same advice from counselors and psychiatrists. I get so tired of managing/switching meds that sometimes I wish I could get off _everything_, but more often I wish there was one "magic bullet" that would cure all my ills. Last time I tried cutting back some of my meds, I started with the antidepressant (Serzone at the time) and my counselor said, "Why on earth did you do that - that's the LAST thing you should be stopping!"
I'm hoping I can gradually cut back on the benzos and find out what the Lamictal _really_ does by itself. Maybe it really is the magic bullet - a lot of people posting here are getting good results with it. Right now it's a roller-coaster ride for sure, and all I can say is I've been here before, and it did get better, even though it took much longer than I wanted it to!
Best,
Tony P
poster:Tony P
thread:350484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040521/msgs/350523.html