Posted by jerrympls on May 7, 2004, at 1:40:46
In reply to Re: Resistant Depression » jerrympls, posted by harryp on May 7, 2004, at 0:33:05
Problem - 100 lbs weight gain from SSRIs and MAOI's. Trazadone has been tried many times - hangover is too much. I'm on Synthroid. Been on Lithium, Neurontin, Tegretol, Topomax, Lamictal, Imiprimine, Nortriptyline, Ascendin, Serzone, Wellbutrin, Remeron, Nardil, all SSRIs - multiple times, Dexedrine, Adderall, Ritalin/Concerta, Clonidine,most benzos, Nembutal, Sonata, Ambien, Halcion, Restoril, Dalmane, Atarax, Testosterone Gel, Effexor, Parnate, Fish Oils, ECT, VNS, CBT, hydrocodone, oxycodone, Fentenyl transdermal patch, Depakote....
All with adequeate trials at therapeutic dosages alone and in various combinations. My current doc suggested psycho-surgery - HA! = lobotomy - and more ECT (had it over 7 years ago - still have memory problems).
I've seen endocrinologists, reseach psychiatrists & psychopharmacologists, therapists....you name it.
My doctors say they haven't given up - but I know they have. And when they give up - what do ya do?
No friends
No family support
No money
No dreamsPoor me - right? I guess...I'm just numb.
I've thought about walking in front of an oncoming bus - usually everytime I cross the street. Thought about what music I'd like to have played at my funeral.
But..for some unknown reason I keep going...existing in a horrific state. Wouldn't you call that self-abuse?
The turth is that for 10-20% of those with depression have terminal depression. I've come to realize I have terminal depression.
No one's ever fought for me...tired I've become of fighting for my life every day. Strong I am...but not that strong.....
...to be continued......
poster:jerrympls
thread:344050
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040505/msgs/344250.html