Posted by Adam Donahue on December 6, 2003, at 11:35:39
Folks of the list,
I have been having a hell-ish four weeks of ups-and-downs, where one minute I feel OK, the next depressed and unable to concentrate. At times I have motivation to go the gym, a movie, and hours later, I feel like lying in bed and dying. In addition, and perhaps compounding the problem, I have had trouble at times learning new things -- reading a book, for example, actually seems to cause a sense of /dread/ in me -- and it feels like I'm simply staring at a bunch of random characters. What is this? Is this a typical pattern people have experienced? It's driving me crazy!
I'm currently on 40 mg Celexa, which I've upped to 80mg a couple days, as that has worked for me before when I entered a major depressive episode. I was on lithium for a solid week, but quit it last weekend not liking the effects. Now I feel both hyperminded yet slowminded, hyper at times, swinging to a low depression. A 'mixed'-like bipolar episode. (That's if I am bipolar to begin with, something I don't yet believe.) I'm obsessing, too, over my mental state. I keep saying, "last month you could zip through The Brothers Karamazov, now it's hard to read a page without your mind wandering, and definitely hard 'getting' it" -- that is, remembering passages chapter to chapter.
As some of you know, this bout was triggered by a binge drinking episode, directly prior to which I felt fine. An added obsession: the fact that all this might be related to that, and permanent.
HELP!!! Does anyone have advice and/or experiences to share similar to this one?? Any medications to help this out? My concentration? Bringing me out of this depression? Has the Celexa run its course (3.5 years on it currently)? Should I try switching to something else? Augmenting? Argh!!!
Thanks in advance for any advice!
Adam
poster:Adam Donahue
thread:287132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031202/msgs/287132.html