Posted by badhaircut on September 12, 2003, at 8:44:45
In reply to Please advice/feedback/guidance, posted by galkeepinon on September 12, 2003, at 6:07:13
> I'm sick of medication
I gave up on meds for years because they never did me any good. I burst into tears once in my doc's office at the thought of going back on the try-this-drug try-that-one treadmill. But later I was encouraged by reading some PB success stories, especially the few that say things like "I was depressed for 20 years until I tried X with Y, and that's continued to work." So I went back to the pdocs.
> I get so confused. It's like I felt tonight that I have no idea what life is really about or how to handle it.
Kurt Vonnegut wrote recently that only psychopaths don't get confused. They know EXACTLY what to do. Thoughtful people have lots of doubts.
> I've done so much therapy already but obviously it hasn't helped, at least not with the reasons I am crying.
Been there. IMHO you can often get as much or more benefit out of a bowling league or bridge class than most psychotherapy. I could get more out of some therapy techniques if the meds worked.
> I'm a total people person and want so bad to contribute to this world, and I have failed
Not true! I've appreciated reading your posts (your *contributions*) over the last few months. I skip a lot of replies when I'm reading a thread, but you’re one of the authors I always check out.
> I have wasted the last 10 or 11 years
That's a brain tricked by depression talking. Depressed people with lots of worldly achievements & honors often feel the same way.
> my friends don't know how much pain I really am in, because I don't want to tell them. They have their own lives. I'm embarrassed to tell them hey-I'm not doing good.
I know. I always feel like, after I get the depression managed better with meds, I'll tell them how bad I *was*.
-bhc
poster:badhaircut
thread:259308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030912/msgs/259327.html