Posted by Susan J on August 19, 2003, at 9:02:29
In reply to SSRI's and R.E. Dark Irony, posted by BeachGuy on August 18, 2003, at 18:22:37
> According to the various sex therpists I have visited over the years the problem has a number of deep dark psychological causes- anxiety and it's best buddy, low self esteem being just two.
<<Yeah, I read up on it a bit after I posted my last post and I see it's caused a lot by anxiety. That totally sucks. :-( But I, ever the optimist (at least when it comes to other people, not myself) think there HAS to be a solution, albeit a difficult one to find.Are you going to a regular therapist? Is he/she supportive? This post will probably get redirected somewhere since it's not about drugs.
> Women don't hang around long with a guy who can't ejaculate no matter how cute and charming he is! LOL
<<This is bothersome, to say the least. :-) My ex-boyfriend had anxiety issues too, but it worked in the reverse. Too early. Always. I tried to be very supportive and NEVER critical, but no matter how supportive I was, or how good our relationship was, I couldn't crack his low self-esteem. Only he could do it.>But since I have begun to realize the problem can't be fixed....well, you can't blame me for feeling a little down in the dumps!
<<Please don't think a solution doesn't exist. It does. Losing hope just makes that evil cycle keep spinning, it'll kill your self esteem, make you lose hope again....etc.Is there any way to work on those "deep dark psychological issues?" They've got to be surmountable. And if they go away, shouldn't the anxiety follow?
And really, this works. Keep saying to yourself you are a good man, a valuable man, smart, funny, open-minded, ethical, good looking, whatever. Even if you "don't" believe it now, if you repeat it in your head a million times you brainwash yourself! Trust me on this, please.
Good luck. :-)
poster:Susan J
thread:251700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030818/msgs/252098.html