Posted by RWF on March 1, 2003, at 14:50:40
Today was the fourth day completely off of Effexor XR after the "weening" process.
On day one I felt barely anything but a little light-headedness towards the end of the evening.
On day two I was a little nauseous and began feeling dizzy when moving my head in any direction. I then began vomiting due to the dizziness. That evening I discovered what it was like to experience what you on this forum call "Brain Zaps". Not exactly a "Zap" as it was a tremor in my mind that would cause a blip in my vision. This originally scared me at first, but then it would fade and I would feel fine. I notified my Psychiatrist of this problem and he said by the weekend I should be fine. I asked him to raise my Lorazepam up to 1mg, and he declined my request and told me to keep taking the wellbutrin SR at night and the .5 milligram of Lorazepam once a day when needed.
On Day three, the "Zaps" became closer and would occur every time I would move my eyes in any direction. Everyone in my family thinks that I am lying about these feelings....dubbing me to be a "Hypochodriac", and telling me that "I should just get over it and deal with it." I began feeling a little agitated and my hands were beginning to tremor a little bit.
Day Four is here and my body and mind are now two separate machines functioning within the same skin. I am agitated to the point of considering suicide to stop myself from hurting anyone close to me if I happen to lose what is left of my self control. My mind is constantly being zapped and now I am feeling them throughout my arms and my gums. This is worse than anything that I have ever experienced.
I immediately contacted my Psychiatrist's office to have him paged and I was told to go to the emergency room at a local hospital. I am not about to go to a hospital in this condition and let them put me in a psych-ward where I can be talked to and treated like a three year old.
I simply declined and told his paging service that I was going back on the Effexor XR in an attempt to gain control of myself again.
I did and now almost 4 hours later the zaps have lessened a bit and I am less anxious...of course I took a whole milligram of Lorazepam anyway.
So I want to know exactly how am I supposed to trust the man who will give me Effexor XR at will because "it was not addicting"?
I came to him reluctantly for therapy and he pushed the stupid antidepressant drugs on me. I caved in and figured that he was somewhat a professional, but I should have taken note that all he does is "Practice medicine." The key word there being practice.
Now I am addicted to a drug for the first time in my life and I am having a hard time dealing with that. What is the difference if I became a crack head now? I am already an addict....right?
How can I just walk into a doctor's office one day and feel a little depressed...and come out 6 months later a drug addict?
These people are supposed to be helping with the problem, not adding to it.
So now I have to suffer without a sex drive and constantly be tired all the time, as a result of the Effexor XR use or I can become a homicidal maniac during withdrawal.
So tell me something....Why is it now unnacceptable to end my life? Won't that end the pain? Won't that stop the addiction since the Psychiatrist can't seem to do it anyway?
But what will they tell my son or my wife? How will that be explained to them? Will they tell them the truth and explain to them that I could no longer face the fact that I would have to be a drug addict and decided to end it all?
Will the medical industry be honest and take blame for pushing a dangerous mind altering drug upon people or will they cower and hide? I place all my money on the latter of the two?
So who do I trust now? Who can I trust? Not the doctor and not the drugs....maybe the only sure thing in life is death.
To all you people out there who suffer from depression...STAY AWAY FROM EFFEXOR XR!!! It will kill you one way or the other.
Trust me when I tell you that your life will be over the minute you take that drug. I know mine is.
poster:RWF
thread:205055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030301/msgs/205055.html