Posted by TommyTommy on February 27, 2003, at 23:39:07
I suffered imensily from Depression, Anixiety, Paranoia, Social Withdrawl,extreme obsessive "crazy" thoughts, the whole nine yards and it all came onto me like a ton of bricks when I was 15 1/2 years old. I was almost done with my Sophomore year in high school and I just started to feel horrible little by little and then faster and faster until I was submerged into this horrible nightmare of being scared by thoughts and completely debilitated mentally and physically. My parents couldn't relate and so I went into my junior year of high school in an utter mess. I don't want to write all night here so I'll get to the point here. I made strives little by little but at such a slow pace it was still horrible. I must say that the most horrible thing to face and deal with when your having "mental problems" is to try and still go on socially. I mean let's face it, we live in a social world where you must see people on a day to day basis and when you dehabilitated and preoccupied with Depression amongst other things, it's so hard to push yourself to try and act like everything is allright. I'm 26 now and I never have found a root to my problems and just put them all in the back of my head because there never seemed to be a cause of it. All the fears and phobia's I had back when I was 15 1/2 I tried to work out and disprove and I seemed to calm them over the years and put them on shelves in the back of my mind and all along I have still toyed with them here and there. Usually I could shrug them off but when I got off of my Effexor and Depakote right before Christmas 2002 only a couple of months ago, I crashed and all my fears and haunting memories from the past came crashing back into my head. I was so devastated I really thought about taking my life. For 11 years I have rebuilt my life around this "Mental Stuff" and then it all seemed to come back stronger than ever at once. I am currently back on Effexor and Depakote again. Can anybody shed any light into what I've written here and maybe offer any good advice because I'm having a very hard time with it.
Thanks,
Tommy
poster:TommyTommy
thread:204546
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030224/msgs/204546.html