Posted by fluffy on November 23, 2002, at 16:37:24
In reply to Re: Is there ever a normal after BP - fluffy, posted by Krysti on November 23, 2002, at 15:08:19
Hey Krysti--
Here's the lowdown...
I was treated for a bout of major depression 2 years ago...came on suddenly with lots of anxiety. Went to therapy but nothing seemed to be triggering the depression. Was sent to a psychiatrist (who I am seeing now) who prescribed Paxil. I came out of the depression about a month or so later....I went on taking Paxil and after a year, decided that I was feeling better and that I would stop.I got a new job and was feeling on top of the world at this point. I got really goal oriented and tried to get into lots of fellowship programs....I started writing "manifestoes" on a message board...getting into arguments with people. Started feeling amourous, like I wanted a boyfriend..and that was a "goal" for me. Then I got the bug up my ass that I wanted to move out of my apartment and into my studio so that I could pay off my debt within a year. Sold half my stuff...Got lots of people to help me move and build out the new space in my studio. Started dating a guy...talkin' on the phone all night, e-mailing all day...I was making plans to throw a party in my empty apartment for all of my friends and people I had met on the message board...but didn't have the time. Partying my ass off...Didn't sleep much for 2 weeks.
Then--BOOM!! Started feeling totally agitated...lost my appetite...started having panic attacks daily. I accomplished the move (into a 13' x 13' space (!!!) and felt very accomplished. But then I started feeling VERY depressed. Crying all the time. Totally dis-interested in EVERYTHING. I decided to see a therapist again. Went in circles..round and round. My decisions which seemed so important and well rounded seemed to bite me in the rear suddenly. He suggested that I get on antidepressants again.
Went to my old Pdoc and told him that I was depressed again. He prescribed Lexapro. I felt less slow for the first two weeks. Then I had trouble sleeping. I had to take Trazodone to sleep. I ran out of trazodone and didn't sleep for 4 days. I felt like thrashing things and crying constantly. I felt so agitated..like i was going to explode. I started reading about depression on this board. And looking into my family history (which is vague--lots of untreated, undiagnosed mental illnesses).
I went back to my pdoc...told him about what happened before the depression and how I felt on the AD's...he said..."sounds like BPII". He put me on 25 mg zoloft and 100mg neurontin and said we'd "ramp up". I checked in with him after a week and my appetite had dwindled again. He said--up the zoloft...then I started feeling more anxious.
Then started this paranoia thing....
(I know this is long...thanks for reading...)
If you have any more input, let me know.fluffy
poster:fluffy
thread:127130
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021122/msgs/128965.html