Posted by Arthur Gibson on August 28, 2002, at 6:29:02
You people really are the greatest!
I am new to the board, but I am highly impressed with the supportive way you all go on. We are cursed with some bad illnesses and the help that the contributors give must be invaluable.
I have already learned a lot. Thanks everyone.
I have been taking PROZAC for 9 weeks because of depression and serious suicidal thoughts and plans. This is crazy because I have a beautiful young wife, two lovely children, own my own house and business and I have money in the bank. I am the last person who should kill himself, but that just shows how stupid this depression illness is.
The PROZAC has worked well and I thought that I was recovered. I am on 20mg/day. The thoughts of suicide had gone.
However the past three days they have been coming back and today they are strong. My Doctor is on his summer holiday so I cannot ask his advice.
Should I increase to 40mg/day, or perhaps 40mg every second day? Or does PROZAC not work that way? Does it take ages for the increased dose to take effect?
Or should I keep to 20mg and hope that these horrid suicidal thoughts pass?
Should I take valium?
Does anyone know why a perfectly happy person like me should plan to throw himself under a train? I sit by the track working out the most painless way to do it, then I go back to a great meal cooked by my wonderful wife and play with my two super children in my lovely house.
Its completely idiotic, but it happens. I keep a suicide note in my wallet, which is packed full of money!
It has to be some dysfunction in my brain, but to me its very real and very frightening. To my wife its horrific to think that she might loose me so needlessly. She hides my car keys every night and locks away all medicine. She is the greatest wife anyone could ever have.
Two months ago I nearly slashed my wrist with a kitchen knife at 4.00AM in the morning. My four year old woke up at that moment and wanted a pee. After I had dealt with him I came to my senses and put the knife away. There must have been an angel or something watching over me at that time.
Any advice would be appreciated. If I can help anyone else out there, I will be pleased to do so. I repeat - you people are the greatest!
poster:Arthur Gibson
thread:118028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020821/msgs/118028.html