Posted by Morgana on May 15, 2002, at 22:50:24
In reply to still uncertain, posted by Grace Coyote on May 15, 2002, at 6:21:59
Grace,
It is very nice to have a place like this to visit. It helps with the loneliness for sure. The first time I ever attended a support group (for mood disorders) I walked away with this huge feeling of relief. I am not the only crazy person out there.
> I have been reading the posts here and feel both relieved and disturbed.<
I understand your dismay. There are so many horror stories. But that's one of the benefits of this forum. You can come here and describe the bad experiences - and have people listen who understand and have been there. You can also come here and share your good experiences - which we are all happy to hear, especially if we need good info on the exact topic you mention. :) Try not to let the stories scare you too much. Everyone is affected differently. That doesn't mean your experience will be the same.
<I have only been taking Effexor xr for about 3 weeks now after being on a very low dose of Serzone (my first real experience with anti-depressants). I certainly feel validated about the "weird" feelings that don't seem to be listed in the scientific literature...such as that "zombie-like" feeling, and an elusively strange state of mind. I am also not dreaming and could probably sleep around the clock and still feel tired. However, I am more concerned about the withdrawal effects I am reading about. It sounds worse than heroin!>
I took Effexor years ago and honestly don't remember my experiences. It was a very stressful time in my life. I think I may have blocked the memories out on purpose! I do remember having to go off it slowly, but don't remember it being real difficult. I was also on a lot of pain meds at the time (this was just prior to a major surgery) so maybe that eased the transition. There is a lot of information here on Effexor. You can search through the posts going back years.
<These are very powerful drugs and I just don't want to screw up my brain chemistry even more.>
I did want to say something in response to this part of your post. Taking antidepressants isn't going to screw up your brain chemistry in any kind of permanent way. Essentially the meds 'trick' the brain into doing what it is supposed to do. Basically your brain chemistry is unbalanced (for lack of a better word). That cannot be 'fixed', it can only be treated - with medication. The medication helps your brain work better by trying to balance the chemicals. The reason meds 'poop-out' is because the brain wises up.
<Some days I feel like some semblance of myself again and then the next day I am in a "weird" place. Not necessarily depressed/sad or anxious, but my thoughts have a quality that I can't explain.>
These are things you need to tell your Dr. about. If you aren't feeling better and definitely if you are feeling worse - you need to try something else. Or its possible that there is more going on that the doc needs to know about so he can address it. Like anything, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Complain, complain, complain. I know that can be very difficult sometimes. When you feel like you can't talk to anyone, you are somehow supposed to gather up enough energy to complain to the doctor over and over. If it would be helpful, have a family member go with you to the appt.
<I feel like I have copped out by going on these drugs>
Depression is an illness. Just like diabetes, just like cancer. It is not a 'cop-out' to take a medication that can treat your illness and help you be alive, instead of just struggling to survive. Think of IT as an illness. The depression is not you. It is an illness. And it is treatable. You will feel better when the depression is treated.
Sometimes it takes awhile to find the perfect cocktail. But when you do, the world comes alive and you are happy to be in it.
I wish you all the best on this journey. You are not alone.
Morgana, BPII - Nardil, Lamictal & Verapamil
poster:Morgana
thread:106478
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020510/msgs/106590.html