Posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 15:48:06
In reply to Boyfriend seems to be psychotic.. how to help??, posted by Lateralis on May 2, 2002, at 14:42:44
Dear Lateralis,
Please don't take offense, and PLEASE pay attention. There is probably nothing you can do to help this person. It sounds like he has serious problems and needs a lot of help. Unfortunately, there are real difficulties getting treatment when you are poor and have no insurance.
First, give him the phone number for your local Mental Health/Mental Retardation Office. They are a state agency in Texas that operates on a sliding scale. I once received excellent care there. My own pdoc volunteers there once a week, and so do many other pdocs in town.
Understand that it is up to your boyfriend to seek the help and follow through with it. Don't call and make the appointment for him. It is important that you give up the idea that you can help him change, or talk him into getting help. Sorry. :-(
The fact that you fell in love with a man with those problems actually says alot. Please spend some time thinking about why you really love him. Talk about it w/ your own therapist. Good looks and charm really don't mean diddly-hoo-haw. If he won't take steps to care for himself, how can he really care about you? Think of your life together now, then contemplate 20 years of exactly the same thing. Is this the man you will choose to father your children?
I wasted the best years of my youth on a man w/ lots of problems. I believed that my devotion and loving care would some day lead him to a cure. After 16 years I finally got tired of trying and dumped him. He is still sick, likes himself just fine that way, self-medicates with beer, and always finds some woman who will take him in and try to love him to wellness. He is oh so handsome and can be charming if he chooses. I now realize these women are sicker than he is, and so was I.
I've told you that sadly, there is little you can do for your love. This is what you CAN do to help him. Encourage him in his therapy if he decides to go, remind him of appointments and med refills, but don't take on that responsibility. Nothing will work if he doesn't truly desire to try. That's about all I can think of. Others here can surely offer more.
What I am compelled to do is try to help you. I am here if you need me. We all are.
Love and luck,
Carly
poster:cmcdougall
thread:104793
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020425/msgs/104806.html