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To Shanti, the peacemaker » Shanti

Posted by Sue Doe on March 16, 2002, at 23:49:40

In reply to Re: I'm right behind you, posted by Shanti on March 16, 2002, at 7:32:40

> good morning everyone!
>
> i agree sue doe about the anger feelings as well, yes i too am learning to intergrate them so to speak into my life as well, i tend to forget that those feelings are also a part of me as well and instead of denying them, i should be celebrating them so to speak, i will certainly find that out now, because once again i am starting to enter "the demon zone" (ha ha) i did ok yesterday now i have to work on today but i can do it especially when i come to my computer and read the posts of some "new friends" i have found.....
> peace,
>
> shanti
Dear Shanti:
“Surreal” times. What an appropriate description. Do you suppose Dali was Bi-Polar?
But on the more serious side, we just can’t fit in the 8-5, 24-7 world. We simply don’t function that way!
It’s no use trying to get people to understand why we are the way we are. As a child I remember how much I loved climbing way up high in a cupboard and locking myself in. I loved it there!
Later, I learned to go into “Zombie” mode, staring off into the distance and ignoring all those around me.
When I learned to compose music, I would hope for “eccentricity” credit. I would intentionally talk crazy, just to keep people wondering. And to keep them at arms length where they couldn’t hurt me.
All of these are simply survival methods.

I remember these things because of my children. Now they are finding themselves “different” from those around them. One daughter told me the school nurse said that she may find herself to be Bi-Polar when she grows older, so she and her sister wanted to know whether I thought this would really happen, and if so what it would be like! Since I was in one of my good phases, I used this opportunity to try to help them understand me, and see how I cope.
When my children don’t feel like going to school, I don’t make them. Because I know that some sorts of illness can’t be measured with a thermometer.

I hope to continue to know myself better, and to help my children to know themselves better.

In regards to telling me about your son’s mania, I wonder whether I can offer a thought. Accept it not as a claim to expertise, but just a notion. If he is “high” he may not be able to bring it down a bit. Some children learn to hold back their manic outbursts while in socially compromising situations. But these “outbursts” are automatic, they are like a sneeze. We can hold back the sneeze for awhile, but sooner or later it is going to need a way out. Rather than asking our children not to sneeze, so to speek, perhaps we should help them find ways to channel these excessive energy bursts. Music? Art? Athletics? What else?

We have a little farm, and one of the more successful maneuvers we’ve used to quiet down my most hyperactive son was to tell him to go out and run around the vineyard 2 times! He loved it. We would cheer him on all the way. He used up the energy, no longer had it locked up inside threatening to burst at any moment, and he felt like a great athlete.
these are only temporary solutions, but we need all the tricks we can get. N’est ce pas?

I don’t even want to think about unsupportive husbands right now. He’s gone for a few more weeks, out of sight, out of mind. The phone is turned off, and I only need to talk with him when I am emotionally strong enough to talk with him.

Oh well, we could go on, and on, and on, couldn’t we?
Let me spare you.
thanks for being there.
Sue Doe



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poster:Sue Doe thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020313/msgs/98375.html