Posted by Cindylou on December 27, 2001, at 8:02:42
In reply to Re: Depression Marriage Kids, posted by stjames on December 27, 2001, at 0:48:41
What a great question.
As for the marriage part, I had been on ADs for 10 years when I met my current husband ... I explained to him my situation, and he didn't even flinch. At the time, however, things were much more under control for me than they are now -- since having a baby 2 years ago, I haven't been able to find a med combo I can tolerate well and it has been difficult. Still, I don't think either of us would rethink our decision to get married based on my mood disorder.
As for having kids -- I struggled with that one also. When I mentioned my fear to a friend she just replied, "Oh, that's silly." Guess she doesn't know the extent of what we go through. I mentioned my concern to a therapist who said that there are a lot of environmental factors that go into mood disorders -- her theory was that even if our daughter is born predisposed to depression, a healthy upbringing with loving, attentive parents can hold it at bay.
Now I am struggling with the decision whether or not to have another baby ... after two years of trying every med out there and struggling to stay afloat, it's a scary decision to think about getting off meds and going through it again. But then I think, since the meds aren't really helping much, I might as well. Then again, I need to be 100% here for my daughter, and with a new baby and perhaps increased postpartum depression and anxiety, that could be impossible.
One thing I know for sure is that my life is richer now for having had her, and I am pouring out every ounce of love I have for her -- so hopefully that can help down the road if she ever had to deal with a mood disorder.
Sorry for the rambling -- you brought up a sticking point for me!
> > >I think once that is under control, it will be clear to you how to deal with marriage and kids.
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> > I guess the question is .... is it fair to my significant other to take a vow of marriage .... when I can't promise her I will be healthy in five years .... I seen people spiral down with this disease. I'm just a little scared and a little too realist.
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> Can you say that you will not be hit by a bus, get cancer, ect ? Would you not get married because one of these "might" happen ? We are all damaged good in one way or another.
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> > It seems that we are not closer to solving this depression disease than we were 20 years ago.
> > One could argue some of our most effective medication have been around for over 30 years-the tca's, MAOI, lithium. Yeah, the newer meds have less "side effects" but are no more effective ... probably less effective than the older meds.
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> People have been in TCA's since the 1950's, we are coming up on 50 years. I've been on AD's since 1985, still doing fine. Many do the same, and generally do not show up on this list. For me, once I was stable for several years I realized (and was told) the outlook was very good and there was no reason to assume I would not continue to do well.
poster:Cindylou
thread:87893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011222/msgs/87935.html