Posted by jay on September 24, 2001, at 18:42:21
In reply to Think I've lost ''love of my life'' to PAXIL...!, posted by Janelle on September 24, 2001, at 14:02:36
> I was on Paxil (successfully) for a considerable number of years - it helped with my depression and to a lesser extent, anxiety (also take Klonopin for the latter). Well, last year *something* began to happen to me which my pdoc now feels was beginnings of BiPolarII, esp. hypomania, brought on primarily by Paxil, and it got to the point where I was so wigged out much of the time (my anxiety level, obsessive thoughts and insecurity jumped at the drop of a hat and stayed at a fever pitch much of the time). This culminated in my doing and something sooo stupid that angered and hurt the guy I had been seeing, freaked him out and drove him away. Neither of us fully understood what was going on with me at the time. (If the shoe was on the other foot, I may not have reacted quite the way he did, but I also probably would have broken off, at least temporarily.) Now with 20-20 hindsight and after finally fine-tuning a new med cocktail, I can see so clearly my (many) mistakes, my inappropriate behaviors, etc. And to think it was probably the cumulative effect of Paxil that played a large role in what seems to be the loss of the man I still love DEEPLY and who I still believe is the love of my life (btw, I no longer have any way to contact him directly or I'd have done so by now).
>
> Well, thanks for *listening* -- I really needed to get this out, and figured people here might understand. Any supportive comments welcomed. Thanks.Sorry to hear that Janelle, as our unstable lives make us *casualties* too often.
My pdoc was saying to me that in his experience, he is starting to believe that the majority of people labled 'unipolar depressive' actually usually have 'rapid cycling' tendancies. In fact, he thinks depression is likely more of a 'cycling illness' than thought so in the past.
This is not *scientific* of course, but look at the number of people who find far more relief in using a mood-stablizing combo with smaller amounts, or even no, antidepressant.
Anyhow, it's all hindsight, and alls we can do is carry on, and build some strength from what we have been through. BTW...what is your med combo right now, anyhow?
Best wishes..
Jay
poster:jay
thread:79467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010917/msgs/79484.html