Posted by shelliR on August 6, 2001, at 22:45:47
In reply to Re: jumping in - Shelli, Lorriane, et.al., posted by Elizabeth on August 4, 2001, at 15:33:57
> > It's interesting, my sister just told me recently that my SIL thinks that I don't try hard enough to overcome my depression. This is actually fascinating to me.
> "Fascinating" is not the word I'd use to describe it!
Well, I see it that way because I am so detached from it. When I stopped talking to my SIL it really drove her crazy; it still does. She'll call my mother and tell her that I didn't say hello, etc. But she has never said to me, "hey what's going on?" or "what don't you acknowlege me?" so it gives me a lot of power in the relationship. Although when I stopped talking to her it didn't have to do with power, more with self-preservation. But with such a judmental person, power is not a bad thing to have.> > Once I knew I had kids inside, as each one let her presence be known, I was always co-conscious.
> Did you have periods of lost time before that?
No I only lost time once for a few minutes and it was funny that I did the typical thing all people with DID do; I tried to catch on about what my friend was talking about and figure out how long I "left", in other words tried to figure it all out and not miss a step so that she wouldn't know. The funny thing is that she would not have cared; it was just impulse on my part to "be normal." Nothing precipitated it that I could figure out, but it was different from anything else that I had ever experienced, or have ever experienced since.Much different from when I am very floating, or sort of space in and out of things without missing anything. (well, anything important:-) )
I was raped at gun point in September of my senior year of college and I still have a lot of things I can't remember about it. I was very much in shock as you can imagine and didn't call the police for three hours. But strangely enough, I got a call many months later that the assailant pleaded guilty to the rape, but I was out of the country for the lineup. I have always felt grateful that he didn't physically hurt me and that this was a pre-aids period. But within several months I could not feel my body when I was around people. It did not affect sex at all at the time, but my therapist thinks that I have never really dealt with it and that it is still affecting me. I was twenty and didn't tell my parents because I thought their knowledge would be more of a burden to me than a help. I finally told them about five years ago.There was a daytime tv show called "Queen for a day", when I was very very young, where three women would come on and tell how horrible their lifes were and the audience would vote for the one who had the worst life and she would win a refrigerator or a dishwasher or something like that. I just had the feeling when I was writing about my rape that I was on that show: I was physically abused at age____, sexually abused at age_____, raped at 20. Do I get a refrigerator? :-)
Lorraine may remember that show; and maybe your parents would, Elizabeth!
>
> > So no, "DID in partial remisison" would not work for us.
> Damn. :-)
:-)> > Today was a pretty good day and I didn't supplement the oxy. And the plan was always to have an AD in there also, because the AD I was stopping was prozac, I had a long waiting period. Monday is five weeks.
> Ahh. That's the main down side of Prozac, IMO: the long washout period. I definitely think that opioids are usually best used in combination with antidepressants rather than by themselves; short-acting drugs (such as opioids and stimulants) can be destabilising, and an AD can smooth things out.I hope so because I have been falling fast.
>> Yes. I'm particularly interested in seeing whether psychostimulants would help me, since Cylert worked in the past and since I have ongoing attention problems.
What's the difference between cylert and concerta. I could look it up, but then I think I'd lose this post. I could look it up later!
>
> > Have you ever tried buprenorphine in pill form , sub-what-ever?
> Subutex and Temgesic are the brand names that I'm aware of. No, I've never tried getting medication from outside the U.S.Is that because you'd have to pay out of pocket? It seems like it might be worth a try if the other is such a bother. Have you discussed with your pdoc getting meds from outside the U.S.?
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010804/msgs/73883.html