Posted by Alii on February 24, 2001, at 12:24:21
Two weeks back on Wb and Buspar. At 225 mg Wb a.m. and 20 mg Buspar p.m. Haven't woken up physically sick the last two mornings so that is good but the speedy energy of the Wb each time I increase the dose is so agitating. I am still waking throughout the morning. Previously my pattern has been total insomnia with not getting sleepy or couldn't fall asleep but once I finally did go under I didn't wake early or often that I can remember. This waking every one or two hours has got to go. My brain is too scattered to deal with cooking and my financial pic isn't allowing for a lot of prepared food so the nutrition thing is going to have to wait. I feel so overwhelmed having to try to deal with finding a place to live, filling out gov. forms for help, seeing the pdoc and therapist each week, writing down my moods if I can remember to do that, taking pills three times a day at the same time, getting enough sleep, etc. Fighting this disease at this point is a full time job! I didn't ask for this position and I don't recall seeing this in the job description!
I go to acupuncture today and see the pdoc on Mon. The disability insurance info from the state finally arrived Fri. It will be almost two months since I worked before I see any money. Difficult not to freak out over cash when you don't have enough to cover the bills. So low in the mornings and at night. Crying less each time which I'll take to be a good sign. I do recognize that there are more good moments creeping in. The blackness still grips me at night and early in the day. I want to give these meds a full chance at doing their stuff. I'm so tired of slogging through this hell. Why can't I just admit defeat and lie down for a little while?
--Alii
poster:Alii
thread:54749
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010221/msgs/54749.html