Posted by mars on January 23, 2001, at 4:39:48
In reply to Effexor Poop-Out or situational distress?, posted by Racer on January 22, 2001, at 14:09:49
Hi Racer ~
I'm new here, but hope my experience might help. i think i've definitely had feelings at least akin to yours.
i was diagnosed bipolar II in late '93 after i got married and moved from oklahoma to seattle. i was unable to work. i was put on lithium & an AD and told that it might take a year to work. in march '95 i woke up and felt really odd ~ couldn't put my finger on it at first, but then i realized that i wasn't depressed. i wasn't manic. i could just do things. it was the synthroid, effexor & lithium that had done it. it was prob'ly the first time in 20 years that i'd really felt that way (no exaggeration).
three weeks later my mom died, very unexpectedly. my family is really messed up, and all hell broke loose. it totally broke my meds. things were so, so bleak, and i'd been there so often before. i know that calm feeling, where death seems like the rational choice, as if some spreadsheet had tallied up my life and spit out the recommendation.
six months later i was able to go back to work.
i just want to say that your posts are one of the things that kept drawing me back to PB after i first ran into it. you're so funny and gifted and have such a heart. i know when you're feeling down the "things will get better" responses don't usually mean a whole heck of a lot, so i'm not sure what to say, except this:
don't go.
best,
mary
> OK, I'm so depressed, and see no hope ahead of me. Death seems the kindest option, since I can't see any hope for anything better coming along. I've been suicidal before, but this is much calmer, and therefore more frightening to me.
>
> I just lost my job, after a terrible experience working for the company for mere weeks. My confidence is totally blown, and I can't imagine anyone ever hiring me to do anything again. My home life is pretty unhappy, due to circumstances beyond my control. (My SO is about to lose his visa, so it's either marry in haste -- and in Reno -- or he's deported. We'd marry sooner or later anyway, but he's unhappy not to be able to decide for himself when he's ready.) My horse had to be put down. I'm fatter than I've ever been. Etc. Etc.
>
> So, what else? I'm sweaty all the time, my mouth is always dry, and I can't sleep. I cry alot, I go from OK to totally desponant in under ten seconds, and I just can't seem to get a grip on myself.
>
> Is this acceptable situational distress from being in a really rotten situation? (BTW, if my SO is deported, I'm unable to support myself in the area we moved to together.) Is this normal grief over so many losses in a short time? Should Effexor be able to help me through this by offering a lifeline? Or is the Effexor simply not working anymore?
>
> Oh, did I mention the part about not having insurance?
poster:mars
thread:52241
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010122/msgs/52283.html