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Re: Social anxiety vs. Avoidant personality disorder » Archangel_Michael

Posted by anita on August 7, 2000, at 17:40:43

In reply to Re: Social anxiety vs. Avoidant personality disorder » Snowie, posted by Archangel_Michael on August 7, 2000, at 14:26:32

Hi Michael,

I'm glad you felt comfortable enough for a while to contribute! The great thing about this board, and other mental health boards, is that generally people are very accepting and understanding, as long as you're not hostile.

I had a similar experience: an old college aquaintance once told me that he was interested in being friends with me, but that he thought I was kinda "stuck up" and didn't like people or something. I do realize I may have come across that way, but when I was in college, I felt I was always craving human contact and friendliness, but I thought I had to protect myself from making that obvious to others!

anita


> Geeze Snowie, you hit the nail squarely on the head as far as one of my problems is concerned. I really do desperately want to interact with "the humans" (you see, long ago I got to the point where I began to doubt my own humanity). I crave social interaction, yet my fear is so overwhelming that I'm nearly paralyzed. My inability to overcome the fear adds to my feelings of inadequacy. I find myself in a feed-back loop which is difficult to break.
>
> Some years ago I ran into an old high school acquaintance. We had a great conversation. He said he was actually surprised by our conversation because when we were in high school, he thought I was "stuck up." My silence years ago, which he mistook as conceit, was one of the manifestations of my APD or SAD. I went home and cried about that. How many other class-mates ignored me because they thought I was "stuck up"? It still hurts when I think about the opportunities for friendships lost.
>
> I've been lurking on this board for a while. Even here, I find it extremely difficult to participate. Psycho-Babble is a very social place, and here too, I feel out of place. I mostly enjoy reading the posts of a less clinical, more personal nature. I long to join in the conversations, yet I cannot. Every now and then I suck up my courage and submit a response, but that's a rare occurrence.
>
> Thank you for the links. I book-marked them.
>
> Best regards,
> Michael (the digital wall-flower)
>


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