Posted by shar on July 14, 2000, at 23:46:28
In reply to Re: transference or...?, posted by PattyG on July 14, 2000, at 18:46:08
I had a therapist who moved away. It was someone I'd been seeing for a long time, and had had joint sessions with her, me and my son. Also was in a group with her.
Our relationship was "professional" but also very nurturing. It's one of the few places I'd ever had anyone honor my feelings or encourage me to love myself.
Her leaving was a time of intense grief for me because I loved her as a person who had been a part of my life for a long, long time. And, with whom I had an intimate AND professional relationship (intimate as in my deep dark shameful thoughts).
My last visit with her was her holding my hands as I wept and wept and wept. I get very attached to people.
When she left we did exchange Christmas cards for a few years. Then I started seeing her former partner (about two or so years later). Now, when my current therapist goes to visit my former therapist I always ask her to remember me to X, and send my fond regards.
I think a rememberence honoring your relationship that you had with your therapist is fine, but if it is more than that (or if you expect more from the relationship) I'd recommend either saying so or holding off until you are really sure what you want to do.
Best wishes. I hope that you find a way to have a safe farewell (which you probably need to do for the therapy part of the relationship anyway). And if you contact her in the future, that you'll be guided by clarity.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:40458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000708/msgs/40490.html