Posted by bob on May 29, 2000, at 22:09:34
In reply to Re: Hope????to everyone, posted by Tina1 on May 29, 2000, at 21:35:03
You ask me, Tina1, I say it's no big loss.
My therapist disagrees with me quite strenuously, but it gives us something to talk about. ;^)
Call me Scrooge if you want, but humbug on hope! It's a cheat and a lie, and I'm not having any of it.
Then again, I'm pushing year 30 on when my depression first really kicked into high gear. Among my other curses is a streak of perfectionism balanced with some learned helplessness in just the right measure to keep me from taking any action should I dare to have any dreams.
So I stick to the small stuff and try to change what I can change this day, and I keep my eyes on the day after that. Maybe some would call that hope -- I'd call it a barely perceptible elevation of expectations.
Maybe the thing is, Tina, that when you can't run anymore, you have to start from the beginning and learn how to crawl in a different way, then walk in a different way, and then maybe one day you can run again, in a different way. But that's too many "different ways" ahead for me to see with any clarity.
So, maybe you're not like me and you need hope. But maybe you are like me and can do without it because you need the energy directed elsewhere, for at least a little while. My therapist offered to hold onto some hope for me until I'm ready for it ... I think my friends are doing the same. But quite frankly, I don't have the energy or the will or whatever else it might take to hold it for myself.
Hopeless, and better for it (thank you),
bobPS. Any possible indications that anything in the above statement could be counstrued as being in fact statements demonstrating a belief in a round-about way in hope are the fault of the receiver, and are not in fact the opinion of the author.
poster:bob
thread:35121
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35161.html