Posted by Racer on August 31, 2005, at 10:56:15
It's more and more clear that a big part of the problem is the lack of meaningful support I'm getting at home. While Mr X periodically SAYS something about me being more attractive now, or looking sick before, or not being fat, the only physical contact we have is hugging standing up. To me, that says that he's actively avoiding physical intimacy with me.
More to the point, though, I really need something more than that -- especially right now. I've gained more weight, and am freaking the [warm place] out. The past few days, I've had this feeling that I may as well just give up, lie down in a hole somewhere and just wait for it all to be over. My body repulses me, and apparently my husband as well.
I know, but I'm crying as I write this, and basically feeling [insert word of choice here]. Part of me wants to fill my face with good tasting food, but a bigger part doesn't see the point in eating at all, and I don't feel hungry enough to bother.
Make it go away. Or make me beautiful and desired. Or, alternately, make me pregnant, so that at least one of my lifelong dreams comes true.
poster:Racer
thread:549166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20050828/msgs/549166.html