Posted by NikkiT2 on July 11, 2004, at 9:22:14
Will always be there??
Is it justy habit though??
So, I discover this morning that my bank account is empty.. beyond empty infact. My credit cards are full, and its 2 weeks before I get any money in my account.
But, instead of being able to rationalise it and work out where the hell to get some more money from, my brain automatically clicks into "you have no money, you're screwed, suicide is your only option"..
And why on earth am I always so skint?? I don't splash out on expensive goods, I don't go out buying tons of clothes or music.. OK, this month I have spent £150 on a new working wardrobe (was a nessisity, as I only had one pair of trousers (very casual) and two tops before!).. and I did have a day out with a friend that wasn't cheap.. But I don't eat out constantly, I don't buy myself gifts constantly, I buy fresh foods and not expensive packaged foods.. my only big vice is the £40 a month I allow myself to buy books with. I don't even have a car.
I just want to be able to stop worrying about money for once. I know I had that huge holiday.. but in all seriousness I did that on the cheap.. J paid for my flight.. we stayed in a VERY basic wooden hut that cost £4 a night, ate cheaply, I didn't drink copious amounts (its possible there to get very drunk on £1.50 anyway *l*), and the only things I treated myself to were some very cheap trousers..
I just don't know where I am going wrong, I really don't.
Sorry.. just need a ramble about this..
poster:NikkiT2
thread:364979
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/364979.html