Posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 23:13:30
In reply to Re: Ruminating » Racer, posted by shar on May 26, 2004, at 21:45:58
LOL -- not "just as I are," I've had enough of that, thank you very much! (Hey, I must not be that bad off, since I'm laughing at myself, right?)
Thanks, Shar. I don't know if it helps any for you, but I love my mother a great deal, and while I'll admit that I'm still trying to recover from certain events and patterns of events in my childhood -- and from my internalization of certain less attractive traits about my mother -- I do not blame her for it, anymore. We went though a time when that was different, but I'm long past it now. What I feel now is sadness, because of what she must have been going through to allow it to happen, and gratitude that we have the chance to enjoy one another now, even if we couldn't then. (heheh, 'course, My Mother is the Best Mother, so nyah nyah.)
Anyway, in some ways my mother really was extraordinary in good ways, too, which probably helps a lot. I hope that helps with any worries about your son. At least it sounds as if he's aware of the problem, so he won't recreate his own childhood out of ignorance or denial. That's certainly a step in the right direction.
My family is on my mind right now. Someone is in critical condition right now, collapsed earlier today, and I know that my mother has a lot of conflicts about the relationship that I think she wants to resolve, but it's hard to tell with her. She's out of town right now -- and never leaves contact information when she goes -- but I tracked her down and told her, so that she could decide if she wanted to come home early and make that effort. She won't tell me what's going on inside her until she's got herself back on keel, but the pain in her voice was just heartwrenching. I wish that I could offer her more comfort, because I know that keeping it all in like that makes it so much harder. (How on earth do I know these things?)
Thanks, Shar. You're good to me.
poster:Racer
thread:350747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/350976.html