Posted by Racer on July 5, 2003, at 12:33:10
Here's how bad the rest of it is. I have no alternatives, in the practical sense. I can't earn enough with horses to support myself, any other skills I might have had are too far out of date to be worthwhile, I've never been able to keep other jobs because of the personality issues and depression, and the only jobs available around here these days pay less than $10 per hour -- in a very expensive housing market. I don't have anyone I could go and stay with, when I moved in with my husband, I moved too far away from my former support network, and never built a new one. There's no one I can turn to, and no where for me to go. And he can't help me, he's leaning on me because he's helpless, too.
I don't know if I really want to die, I only know that I can't see how I can go on living. This is just so impossible.
I'm getting numb, though, which might make it easier for me to make the decision. I can't tell if I have or not, yet.
poster:Racer
thread:239502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20030702/msgs/239502.html