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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 23:11:52
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad » WhyandHow, posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2006, at 20:11:25
I hate to be skeptical but I know the hospitals here. With a history of benzoid abuse there is nothing they would prescribe or give me. If somebody was having severe anxiety, they would give them a tiny bit of Ativan, ONLY if they were being admitted, BUT, they don't admit anyone because they are always full. The only way to get in is say you are suididal, then there is liability - then they admit you. The last time they had to transfer me since they were full - a 5 or 6 hour ordeal to travel less then a mile - it certianly did not help my anxiety! I wasn't even allowed to have a cigerette. Once in there, you are with the mental patients. All they do is check on you every so often to make sure you are not harming yourself. The next morning you can't stand to be there anymore since they don't do anything. Some doctor will come and talk to you for 5 minutes (the only time you see one there - once a day for 5 minutes) so you just say you are no longer suicidal, they document that and send you on your way. They will have somebody talk to you about long term treatment options but the waiting lists are many months - certainly nothing to deal with an immediate situation. The hospital is the worst place to go!
I think after today I would have been through the worst of things but I broke down and drove all the way to meet this "jerk" and get his last 6 2mg "bars". I broke one up in 4 pieces and took only one of them (0.5 mg). If I just take 1 or 1.5 the next 2 nights, then -0.5 every 2 nights it should at least not be worse then it was going to be. I will make myself wait till the end of the day etc. It might have been a mistake - I should have maybe just rode it out - I wish I knew for sure but either way it should not be really bad now.
Posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2006, at 23:11:52
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 22:07:24
I know about the hospitals. I was hoping one near you was large and they could help you get something to tide you over. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jost on November 17, 2006, at 23:30:10
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 22:07:24
Actually, WhyandHow, blueberry's advice really is the best.
Seroquel (or zyprexa) would be extremely helpful, without the downside of possibly opening the door to taking more xanax up again.
If you can possibly drive somewhere where there's a clinic with a psychopharmacologist (pdoc)-- or even a GP who knows a little about these meds-- it really might make a big difference.
I do think a really abrupt taper is very hard to maintain-- I don't know why, but I've heard that xanax is very hard to discontinue.
So even though it might be uncomfortable and I totally can understand why you'd rather do it without having to take that step, I'd like to urge you, if at all possible, to reach out for some help here.
Really, it's not that you can't do it (stop the xanax, that is)-- but it's hard-- and you don't need to put yourself through that.
Even if the nearby hospitals aren't helpful, maybe somewhere a little further away, either a hospital or a doctor could make the appropriate medical judgment.
Jost
Posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 10:16:24
In reply to trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 16:09:35
Well now I already made what appears to be the wrong choice. the night of day 4 I drove and got the last bit. 1mg did not do much for me but now I am waking up on what would have been day 5 feeling a little bit of some earlier withdraw all over again! now, since it is here, I took another 0.5mg first thing in the morning (never did that before). Now I am scared and I sure wish I would have just stuck with it. I don't know if I can deal with going through all of this all over again.
I also NOW realize now that i was actually up to about 4mg per day. These 0.5mg chunks are very small. I'm afraid I just added another 2 weeks onto my suffering and I'm not sure I can deal with that. My father died of a heart attack at age 53. I am 40 and have lived a lot worse than him. I have so many good qualities if I can ever get back to normal. BUT, I feel like this is the end of the road. This is an end of the road drug to withdraw from - it is the type USED to withdraw from other things - there is nothing for this.
Only because I took 1 mg this morning, I am feeling to as bad. I am so scared – don’t think I can go through that again. The hospital is not a good option here, there is nothing else and nobody else.
Posted by crazyknitter on November 18, 2006, at 10:40:17
In reply to Now what?, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 10:16:24
Please hang in there. Post on the board for support and know that you aren't alone.
Posted by Jost on November 18, 2006, at 22:04:51
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 18:34:55
Hi, WhyandHow.
If you're serious about getting off the xanax, you need to find a doctor. ASAP.
That's all there is to do. If you really want to do it, and this is as bad as it sounds, you need to look for someone else, and someone after that, until you find someone who will do a slow taper.
In your city, or another city. And then you have to do the hard work of sticking with it.
If you can't afford a doctor, I know that makes it a lot lot harder. But you need to look for someone, because this is very difficult and you deserve and need the help. There's klonopin, but there's also seroquel (maybe-- I'm not an expert, so that may not be the thing-- but it is used to buffer various problems and might be worth looking into). I do know that getting off xanax is difficult, but can be done.
4 mg. is enough to get dependent, but it's not as bad as it could get. So it's important not to be self-blaming. But if you are serious about getting past this, you need to do what you can to give yourself a chance, and find help. Medical, esp. and emotional.
I know it's very hard, and I don't want to be harsh-- I don't mean to be-- but it's just that I want you to fight for yourself and not give in now.
You've made a start and aren't back at square one. I hope you can hear what I'm saying.
Jost
Posted by Jost on November 18, 2006, at 22:16:21
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 18:34:55
The following is a reputable seeming website that talks about benzodiazepine withdrawal and gives some indication of how it can be handled.
Give it a look. Maybe it will help.
Jost
Posted by Jost on November 18, 2006, at 22:21:13
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4 and feeling bad, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 18:34:55
PS
I wanted to point out that according to the website I just gave you, valium, which has the longest half-life of the benzos, is significantly better than klonopin for withdrawal from xanax.
Since I mentioned klonopin, and saw the same information about valium vs. klonopin on other pages, I wanted to correct that statement directly.
Sorry for the three posts.
Jost
Posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 23:47:11
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4, a PS, posted by Jost on November 18, 2006, at 22:21:13
What can I say - the doctors in my area are ignorant. It seems to be a theme around here as I called and spoke to a lady at the hospital too. They will watch you and IF you actually go into a siezure or something 9and they happend to be nearby and notice) they will call somebody (no doctors in the mental patient area). It is the same at both hospitals near here. They will give libriium for long term alcohol withdraw - well this is just like that! I tried calling all the options I could think of today. If I could get some valium on the street i would - don't know where to get any. Once when i could that did make things a lot easier (before I got to this point). IF I can get past this I will never let myself be in this situation again but I seem to be out of options as far as doctors, am broke for a while , etc. This lady doctor would not even give me a script for serequel! She wrote one for Trazadone (ick!). About a month ago I tried to get into a pychiatric office here (before this crisis) and they would not see me because I have a past debt with them from years ago. I called a fancy treatment center out of state that does do humane detox but again its all about the money. People's lives are only as worth as much money as they can raise nowadays. If anyone could get me a hold of some valium that would certainly help! I'm out of options and have this next week, starting Tuesday scheduled for detox here at home with my dog.
Posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 23:52:36
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 4, a PS, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 23:47:11
I probably should have just stuck it out when I was on day 4 since there are no medical options for me here. BUT, I took 3mg to function today trying to figure out my options (lack of). Regardless of how and why I will be starting detox Tuesday or so.
Posted by Jost on November 19, 2006, at 0:05:36
In reply to Re: trying to get off Xanax - Day 0, a PS, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 23:52:36
It is really hard, because the money issue looms so large right now-- I know it's terribly difficult to get treatment if you don't know a doctor who is at least logical and informed.
I think, though, that you have to try to keep going. You aren't back to square one. There are always options. I know it's hard to find them, but there have to be.
You've gone from 4 mg to 3 mg. That's not square one. That's the first step in detoxing. I do think if you could get valium from a doctor it would be best.
One of the withdrawal symptoms is panic and emotional lability, according to the pages on that website. I think you're going through that. That's one reason it's so hard to taper from xanax without any supplement from other, less addictive medications.
So if you can stabilize right now at 3 mg. and spend time looking in the closest bigger city for some help-- this still is doable. But you need to make it a priority.
It's not Day 0-- that's the drug telling you that you can't do it-- ie the withdrawal, plus the part of yourself that believes you can't do it.
It's part of a process, a long hard one, of which you're on day 5-- and you've had a setback, which is understandable, although very frustrating. It's not the end.
You have resources that you might not be aware of right now, that can enable you to do this.
I hope you keep at it.
Jost
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 16:16:53
Can anyone give me some good advice? Since I made it through 3 days - now on the 4th morning should I stick with it? If I give to drive an hour away and get A FEW MORE FOR SMALL DOES TAPERING, WILL THAT JUST MAKE IT HARDER IN THE LONG RUN? I STILL feel bad...nausea, anxiety, and just over all BAD. Will that Lunesta **** make things last longer since it acts on SOME of the same recepters? BTW, I also got back on Lexapro about 6 weeks ago when I though I was going to be on the straight and narrow again but that seems irrelevent right now. I had quit taking it when I was on the roller coaster this last summer.
Posted by Jost on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 16:18:11
Sorry, I didn't see these messages in my other post.
Tapering slowly really is much better: safer, easier, and perhaps more likely to be successful.
But you might really need some support and assistance, if not from a doctor from someone maybe in NA, or another group organization to help people with addictions.
You don't necessarily have to follow all the dogmas, but the support and reinforcement and also help with various crises that may come up, might be invaluable.
It's hard to withdraw from addictions (or dependencies) on one's own.
Hope you're doing okay.
Jost
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by Jost on November 17, 2006, at 18:24:54
Thanks for your advice Jost. At least I won't feel totally wrong or worthless if I choose that BUT, I have gone almost 4 days now - makes me think. I could still take that hour drive late tonight when this dirtbag is "available" and get the last six 2mg bars - that would be perfect for a slow/small dose taper. Since I havn't had one for almost 4 days, I could start with the smallest does possible.
Posted by Declan on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 17, 2006, at 18:30:35
Look, if you've got to day 4 on Xanax withdrawal you have done spectacularly well. The syndome may even be shorter for Xanax. You should feel better soonish, perhaps by day 8?
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by Declan on November 18, 2006, at 4:56:58
Well now I already made what appears to be the wrong choice. the night of day 4 I drove and got the last bit. 1mg did not do much for me but now I am waking up on what would have been day 5 feeling a little bit of some earlier withdraw all over again! now, since it is here, I took another 0.5mg first thing in the morning (never did that before). Now I am scared and I sure wish I would have just stuck with it. I don't know if I can deal with going through all of this all over again.
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:32
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 7:48:38
I also NOW realize now that i was actually up to about 4mg per day. These 0.5mg chunks are very small. I'm afraid I just added another 2 weeks onto my suffering and I'm not sure I can deal with that. My father died of a heart attack at age 53. I am 40 and have lived a lot worse than him. I have so many good qualities if I can ever get back to normal. BUT, I feel like this is the end of the road. This is an end of the road drug to withdraw from - it is the type USED to withdraw from other things - there is is nothing for this.
Posted by Declan on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:33
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 7:48:38
You have not gone back to square one.
What you have done is to give yourself some (short and small) respite from the withdrawal.
There's no right or wrong way to do this....it is just a question of how you want to take your pain.
You deserve a pat on the back.
Declan
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 1:16:33
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4 » WhyandHow, posted by Declan on November 18, 2006, at 17:46:20
This thread was re-directed to "withdraw" BUT, the responses are here in "substance use".
Thanks SOO much for your encouragement.
I should have stuck with it at day 4. Because of my tolerance, recent abuse, and history, I am right back to before day 1. I went to see a doctor today - she will not prescribe anything. She is in disagreent with many of the stratagies that involve more mild benzoids with longer half life's etc. I am going to have to "cold turkey" it all over again. I have just enough now to get through tommorow at work, and Monday at school - maybe Tuesday at school. THEN, Tuesday morning or Wednesday morning will be the beggining of detox all over again. I can only pray that it will not be as bad as it could be. Please pray for me. I have so much potential to help others if I can get though this last chapter of addiction on my life (other than cigerettes and caffene).
Posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 23:40:24
In reply to Re: Xanax Withdraw - day 4, posted by WhyandHow on November 18, 2006, at 18:31:03
Sure today might have been day 6 but I think this time around will not be so bad (and hope!). I was pretty worried the night after getting the last little supply having done 3mg to feel decent but that was yesterday and today I didn't touch any until the afternoon while at work: just about 0.6mg at first break and another 0.6 or so at lunch break (7:30pm). It is now 11:30pm and after just getting home i don't feel that bad after taking only about 1.2 mg ! I just took about 0.5 now and at the most will take only about 0.4 more before bed (its hard to say exactly since it is hard to break those bars in 4 even pieces). That makes the worst case scenerio at 2mg today after 3 yesterday. I only have about 5mg left for all of eternity so I can get through classes Tommorow and Tuesday with no problem and then detox on Wed - Saturday before i have any obligations.
It will be a bummer of a Thanksgiving to be in the middle of detox but i have no living family or anything anyway. I was going to drive about 5 hours to another city to see an old friend but obviously will be staying home to take care of myself instead (my dog might help a little - he is the best dog on earth).
It is hard to predict how it will go but it could be better than the first round of 4 days and could likely be not as bad. It will not be fun but... I could be in decent shape within a week or not much longer. There are no medical options so aat least I know my options - I will stay home with my dog. Last night I called somebody I met at a Christian 12 step group once about 3 months ago so I could at least tell somebody what the deal is and I plan to go to the Monday night meeting they have tommorow night.
when I am "better" I will stick around here as a regular contributer. I have been through so much in life and feel I have a lot to offer others.
Thank you all for your support.
Posted by Declan on November 20, 2006, at 2:49:07
In reply to getting off Xanax; day 0 but SOME good news (?), posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 23:40:24
Within 2 weeks of a drastic Valium reduction I was OK. You might find the Xanax syndrome is more short and sharp than that.
It's a big thing...a metabolic disturbance, and will take time and persistance.
But it won't get any worse, even if you need a break from it from time to time
Posted by Jost on November 20, 2006, at 16:29:21
In reply to Re: getting off Xanax; day 0 but SOME good news (, posted by Declan on November 20, 2006, at 2:49:07
I'm glad things are going better. It'll be tough, but you can get through it.
Don't hesitate to check in over Thanksgiving, even if (or especially if) you're feeling lousy.
I'm not doing anything myself, other than a few hours of work, so I'll be online for parts of the day.
You;re moving ahead already. Going to a meeting, or talking to a friend-- is important. You need support through this.
Take care of yourself.
Jost
Posted by valene on November 21, 2006, at 19:58:29
In reply to getting off Xanax; day 0 but SOME good news (?), posted by WhyandHow on November 19, 2006, at 23:40:24
Thinking of you and will say a prayer for you...xanax is no fun to detox but it is doable. I have gone down from 3 mg. to 1.75mg. and holding there since a year ago. Try to make very small cuts . Keep posting, we are routing for you!
Val
Posted by WhyandHow on November 29, 2006, at 1:00:43
In reply to Re: getting off Xanax; day 0 but SOME good news ( » WhyandHow, posted by valene on November 21, 2006, at 19:58:29
WOW, I had been thinking I would be notified by email of any replies as before but now I see therre were 3 replies that I never got emails about. I guess I better check that box. Thank you so much all for your support. After getting the Valume from the college student dirtbag who normally sells the xanax things went pretty smooth. Also, i had gone for 4 days of misery before using xanax again for only 3 days. It seems that it was meant to be that on this one day - the day before Thanksgiving, not only did this person call me about having just a little bit of valume, he was also comming to my town to see his parents for the holiday. Its not that he gives a crap about anyone - he had just gotten some to sell. With the half life of Valume, obviously things went much smoother but the only thing is with such a long half life I seem to have increased just a bit as far as anxiety and insomnia now, on day/night 4 of no valume. That is to be expected i suppose - I t could have been a lot worse! Also, i have an extra sensativity to Caffene (I normally drink tons of diet pepsi). I do have a few trazadone - I really don't like it but it sometimes eventually helps getting to sleep. I also have severe sleep apnea so I lay in bed with my mask and my dog (best dog on earth). Anyway, my previous research paper for General Psychology has been totally revised. The next thread I will post what I have. I still have a few minor changes to make - it is due this Friday. I should have an A in that class and in Sociology......maybe in Advanced Computer Busioness Applications too................Thank you all!
Posted by Jost on November 29, 2006, at 21:52:14
In reply to Re: getting off Xanax; day 0 but SOME good news (, posted by WhyandHow on November 29, 2006, at 1:00:43
It's great that you were able to find the valium-- sounds like you've made a lot of progress in your discontinuation of xanax. I'm glad you've made it past the most difficult period. Now it's like an habit that you're building-- you'll have temptations. Learning how to resist them, or to recover if you temporarily lose that struggle is the biggest ongoing challenge.
Keep us informed on how you're doing, and how the anxiety and sleep goes, too. If things get harder, this is also a good place to come.
Hope it's going well.
Jost
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