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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alex101 on November 9, 2006, at 18:48:32
I have never posted anything like this before, but I thought you guys could help me out. I have lived with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she suffers from depression. She recently started taking cymbalta, about 2 months ago. After about 2 weeks she started to become very cold and mean to me, which was very unusual behavior for her. Now, I just found out last weekend, that about 1 month after she started taking the cymbalta she began seeing another man on the side. When I confronted her she told me that she strongly feels the cymbalta made her loose any compassion or feeling she once had for me. She said it made her want to hurt me and ultimately made her not care that she was cheating on me. She is now trying to quit cold turkey and going through severe withdrawl. I am definately going to stay by her side and help her through this trying time, however I do not know what to do after the withdrawl is over. I guess I am jsut asking if anyone else has had a similar experiance. I really want to believe that she is being honest with me and it was the mediacation that made her behave this way, but I just don't know what to think. Am I being a fool if I believe her and is what she saying sound reasonable to anyone? Also, she is really struggling with the withdrawl and keeps suggesting that she wants to start taking them again and ween herself off of them. If she is being honest and the meds made her behave that way than I can expect her to do this again, while she weens off?
Thanks
Posted by Dinah on November 10, 2006, at 20:29:49
In reply to Are people compelled to be unfaithfull on cymbalta, posted by alex101 on November 9, 2006, at 18:48:32
Medications can cause conditions that encourage unfaithfulness. Medications can lower inhibitions, make a person hypersexual in a manic or hypomanic reaction, and yes, it can blunt feelings including feelings of caring and compassion, or make a person feel irritable or hostile. My guess would be that it couldn't compel any particular actions.
Will she consent to couples counseling? It might be a worthwhile investment.
Withdrawal from psych meds can be very rough, and tapering rather than cold turkey is usually suggested. And any change in medications should be done with the knowledge and supervision of the prescribing physician.
This is my two cents, which might not be worth much more, as I'm not a physician and have no particular expertise.
Posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 22:11:49
In reply to Are people compelled to be unfaithfull on cymbalta, posted by alex101 on November 9, 2006, at 18:48:32
Hi alex,
that sounds really difficult. I've been on cymbalta for many months now.I never had this particular side effect, but mental illness and the effects of medications on moods can be profound.
Sometimes medications can blunt our emotions and moods and make us feel like zombies. We just want to feel ANYTHING, so maybe that kind of state led your gf to engage in risky uncharacteristic behavior.
The withdrawal from cymbalta is rumored to be really wicked. No one HAS to go through this, though. It's really not necessary. She can taper down gradually, or even get another type of medication that will kick in and relieve some of the withdrawal symptoms. At anyrate, she still has depression, and is likely pretty unstable if she's doing this kind of stuff.
You care about her a lot, and you're not a fool for wanting to help her. You need to make sure that she has support and counselling through the next few weeks. Call her a couple times a day, just to check up on her (unconditional support). Be there for her.
Dinah's pretty smart- counselling is DEFINITELY in order. She should be seeing a Therapist, and needs to talk about her medications with her doctor. Depression needs to be treated, especially in a situation that has some complexity like hers. For instance, she may need to be reevaluated to see if the antidepressant triggered a manic (or hypomanic) episode. If so, she may feel much better on a mood stabilizer. (I know that *I* feel much better on a mood stabilizer, and I'm not bipolar).
Also, I know that you are feeling betrayed and isolated by this situation. You must be hurting too. Please take extra good care of YOU, so that you can help keep the relationship together. After five years, your relationship deserves a fighting chance. Assemble a team (doctor for her, therapist for her, counsellor for the couple) and work on making it through these difficult weeks.
all the best,
-Li
Posted by stargazer on November 16, 2006, at 7:53:09
In reply to Are people compelled to be unfaithfull on cymbalta, posted by alex101 on November 9, 2006, at 18:48:32
Any of these medications can affect our personalities and judgement. If this is something that has never happened before than it does seem as though it was the Cymbalta that triggered it. Is it now over (was it a one time thing) and is she remorseful about it? YOu should be able to get beyond this with counseling if both of you want to.
Any attempts to try another med may have similar effects. Was the doc that prescribed the Cymbalta aware of what happened? Like Li said, Cymbalta could have triggered a manic response, which it does sound like since it was out of her normal behavior and you said she became unfeeling, etc., so she had a major personality change.
I just stopped Cymbalta, had minor effects during this time, but I was only on it a few weeks at only 30 mg. I have had depression for a long time and never had a reaction like she had. I think at times, what if, but would never seek attention else where and act on it. That's the difference, she let acted on it. Did she tell you or did you find out? Is there an contact between the two now?
I hope you can work through this.
SG
Posted by WhyandHow on November 20, 2006, at 0:03:12
In reply to Re: Are people compelled to be unfaithfull on cymb » alex101, posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 22:11:49
I agree with everything said here and want to confirm some and add a little. I had a friendship relationship with an older women once 1 to 2 years ago (I am 40 - she was 56). She had a past where her husband had been sexully abusing their own son for many years! When her son was 18 or 19 it came out - needless to say it had quite an effect on everyone. The son was a whole host of feelings trying to be a man on a football team etc....The husband eventually comitted suicide by hanging himself in their garage THEN not much longer her son got drunk after being back home in his 20's and (while smoking? - she says a candle) burned himslef up in bed.
She obviously had depresion. she was on antidepresents. She met me and we developed a quick bond. I seemed to fill a void that she was missing from her son. I suspect she also had a few sexual/husband lonly feelings that she was meeting. Anyway, once she was changed to either Cybalta or Celexa and she suddenly had changes in behavior simiar to what you describe. her loving nature turned to sometihng else and while some circumstances about me may have contributed, there was no doubt that she had been changed by this medication - SOMETIMES THESE CHANGES ARE ALSO WITHDRAW FROM THE ONE THEY WERE ON. Was your girlfriend on a different anti-depressent before this?????
I also have ONE friend in my life who lives in a city 5 hours away. He is gay and after his boyfriend was having major behavior changes for quite a while on Lexapro (and combining it with alcohol - DONT EVER DO THAT!) He finally had to split up with him after many years.
Everyone is different and these medications can do strange things to people. I am very skeptical of the pharecutical industry. They have an investment in their billion dollar medication industry. I don't want to say that they can't be good but THEY SHOULD BE TAPERED OFF OF - NOT JUST COLD TURKEYed. If she was on another one before and was ok, she should gradually get back on that one for a while at the same time.
Does she do any other meds OR ALCOHOL with the med? Doing alcohol with lexapro makes me really sick for days - with others it can cause bizarre behaviors evan more.
Bottom line:
TAPER the med - the counselor idea is great.If she has quit cold turkey she is probably having a flood of negative emotions worse then what she had to begin with.
This is the end of the thread.
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