Psycho-Babble Substance Use Thread 809008

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Sex Addiction? Or Just Filling the Void

Posted by becksFLA on January 26, 2008, at 10:45:24

I don't think I have a sex addiction, but I do think about it all the time, search for it on dating sites, bars, yes, it's embarassing. I hate it. I settle for much less than I deserve, and I always regret it. HOWEVER. The more and more I think about it, it's not so much the sex I am addicted to, but rather the void I'm feeling after moving to a new city where I don't know anybody, or have opportunities to meet people. I am without a car, and public transportation is non-existant. The only people I know are my parents whom I live with until I get my car back or finish college, and a few "aquaintences" through work.

I am the type of person that craves close friendships, close relationships of all kinds. Come to think of it when I lived back in Europe for so long I had 4 or 5 friends that were like family to me, and I went a long time without a steady girlfriend, but I wasn't like this. I really think I'm just using this sex as a temporary bandaid to my life empty of relationships/friendships. I don't know where I'm going with this but if you can think of any suggestions or thoughts I would greatly appreciate it. I've tried my best at looking for church youth groups who I know would always be accepting but to no avail. I don't know where else to look. Right now I'm basically trying my hardest to transfer to new york city for my final year where I won't need a car, and I know I will meet people easier.
Thanks

 

no one else has this 'problem'? » becksFLA

Posted by karen_kay on February 12, 2008, at 14:39:58

In reply to Sex Addiction? Or Just Filling the Void, posted by becksFLA on January 26, 2008, at 10:45:24

geez, i can sympathize with you!

i wouldn't say that i was 'addicted' to sex, but i understand what you're saying. it's rough dealing with these.

i'm curious, and this may be out of the blue, but were you abused or anything as a child (oh man, i'm not trying to say anything, but i was and that really had an effect on me, and my 'needing sex from strangers' i had a friend once, who made the comment, while we were talking about safe sex and i got on her about not using a condom.. well, anyway she said 'this, coming from the girl who gives head to anyone on the street!' that still sticks with me.. but, if you were abused, that could contribute to your 'need/addiction' to sex.)

butttttt, anyway, it's rough not having someone close to you (i think that's kinda the impression i got from your post, right?)

sorry, i just saw there was no response and wantwed you to know i understand. man oh man, do i understand. i'm married, typically get on better with men than women, and when my male friends come over, sometimes it's really freakin hard to resist the urge.

i have no practical advice for you. and i understand settling, jsut to have someone close, even for a night (or few hours, you know?)

take care of yourself, and i hope things go good for you. as my mother always sys 'if it feels good, do it' (yeah, that was her motto and i get this attitude from her)

 

I had this...

Posted by blue46 on January 30, 2009, at 12:02:17

In reply to Sex Addiction? Or Just Filling the Void, posted by becksFLA on January 26, 2008, at 10:45:24

I was insane with sex addiction. I couldn;t or wouldn;t engage in relationships and was constantly going to sex massage parlors. I spent thousands of dollars and could not stop. I used to look at porn for like eight hours at a time. I don't know if it is OCD or because I'm an alcoholic or what. I haven;t done any of it in two years. I dunno how or why I changed. I think the biggest thing is stopping benzos which make me "high" and I am an alcoholic. I went to to sex anonymous and sex shrinks who told me no one can stop on their own blah blah but I did. Strange, I can;t say it isn;t a real addiction or that you can stop. The most important thing that I was told was to allow myself to feel my feelings at all cost. Don;t take benzos don't abuse substances and deal with your feelings and issues in group and therapy because you are numbing yourself with this sex, manically distracting your mind with obsession.

 

Re: no one else has this 'problem'? (nm)

Posted by bloobeerd on April 3, 2009, at 22:46:06

In reply to no one else has this 'problem'? » becksFLA, posted by karen_kay on February 12, 2008, at 14:39:58


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