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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:32:25
In the midst of a massive brain outage triggered no doubt by four weeks of weekend alcohol and cocaine bingeing made me realize: I've been dealing with this for three years.
Right now I can't think at all. I'm tired, scatter-brained, unable to read and write, or stay focused long enough to concentrate on a task. I'm making elementary mistakes with things I do daily, and I don't feel this lifting at all.
I binged Friday on alcohol -- self-medicating an already depressed mood -- and spent the weekend tired and miserable. M-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e. And I don't see an end in sight. There's no day-to-day incremental improvement. I'm awaiting the five o'clock hour to run home and get under the covers.
Is this it? Am I effectively dead? Am I confusing brain damage with depression, and if not, will my cognition and mind recover?
I started Provigil a couple weeks ago, and I'm not sure whether it's helped or hurt. I took 400 m.g. Friday and began feeling manic. A bit more focused, but ill and manic. Is the Provigil simply making things worse? It's suppose to help with concentration, but in my case it gives me a racing mind, seems to hamper my memory, and by the end of the day I want to crash ... my energy is just sapped.
I am worrying this brain numbness will not go away, besides being all right a couple weeks ago. Did this night out last week bring me to a point of no return? Or will my mind recover in time? Why am I so tired?
Ugh -- feeling hopeless and sad, mentally blunted and tired. And my mind is racing horribly. I just want it to stop!
amd
Posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 12:47:49
In reply to Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain toast?, posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:32:25
Posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:53:36
In reply to How old are you? (nm) » AMD, posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 12:47:49
I'm 29. Had my first drink at 23 or 24, and began abusing around 26. One-or-two year "break" between January 2004 and February 2005. Have been abusing one to three times monthly since then.
amd
Posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 13:27:30
In reply to Re: How old are you? » pseudoname, posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:53:36
Hi, AMD.
In the last few minutes I was looking for a report I read just a few days ago about how adult brains are a lot more plastic and can recover a lot better from all kinds of problems than they'd ever thought. So, it sounds like you're going through a really rough patch, but I really don't think you've fried your brain beyond recovery.
Teenage brains are another story. Alcohol injures them much more than was ever previously thought. So the fact that you didn't start drinking until relatively late in life is a good sign, too. It also suggests that you're more likely to be successful in controlling your drinking than anyone who started earlier.
http://www.hamiltonspectator.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=hamilton/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1151963411161&call_pageid=1020420665036&col=1112101662670To my ear, your post sounds a LOT more like depression — with some increased anxiety thrown in. It also sounds like you're deprived of good sleep, you're on a still-new med at a new high dose, and you're maybe still a little hung over. Nobody has optimum cognition under those conditions.
You write very well and your typing is like perfect. I really don't think you have to worry about any brain damage.
Good luck, AMD. I hope things calm down soon.
Posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 14:15:06
In reply to Re: How old are you? » AMD, posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 13:27:30
pseudoname,
Wow, thank you for the encouraging words of support! They're helpful, even if reading them requires much more energy than I'd normally need.
I am definitely depressed. Whether this has as a result the racing-mind and blunted-cognition symptoms I'm currently experiencing is unclear. But whatever the cause, my mind feels like a fishbowl filled with acid, slowly being eaten away.
And frankly, I can't adequately put into words the distress this is causing me. I can't see how it will end ... this inability to focus, this need to cry, this desire to bang my head against the wall and scream, "Stop! Stop! STOP!" -- it's overwhelming.
And perhaps I am capable of putting words to "paper" in a semi-sensical form. It's the inability to combine these thoughts and form a /plan/ that has me greatly concerned. My inability to piece together disparate concepts and ideas into a logical piece of writing. It's the scatterbrain effect I'm freaking out about.
Argh! I am thinking about it and that worry is creeping up again. What did I do? Are my chemicals permanently out of wack?
I guess this raises a question: are these symptoms I'm worried about actually common side-effects of excess drinking? Should I mentally break the association between the former and the latter, and realize instead this is caused by depression and perhaps mania, not a permanent hangover symptom?
God help me get through this.
amd
e functions
> Hi, AMD.
>
> In the last few minutes I was looking for a report I read just a few days ago about how adult brains are a lot more plastic and can recover a lot better from all kinds of problems than they'd ever thought. So, it sounds like you're going through a really rough patch, but I really don't think you've fried your brain beyond recovery.
>
> Teenage brains are another story. Alcohol injures them much more than was ever previously thought. So the fact that you didn't start drinking until relatively late in life is a good sign, too. It also suggests that you're more likely to be successful in controlling your drinking than anyone who started earlier.
> http://www.hamiltonspectator.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=hamilton/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1151963411161&call_pageid=1020420665036&col=1112101662670
>
> To my ear, your post sounds a LOT more like depression — with some increased anxiety thrown in. It also sounds like you're deprived of good sleep, you're on a still-new med at a new high dose, and you're maybe still a little hung over. Nobody has optimum cognition under those conditions.
>
> You write very well and your typing is like perfect. I really don't think you have to worry about any brain damage.
>
> Good luck, AMD. I hope things calm down soon.
Posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 12:24:58
In reply to Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain toast?, posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:32:25
Hi AMD
I still reckon you should give low dose deprenyl/selegeline a go. It makes sense in 2 ways. Firstly you like coke. Secondly it's neuroprotective.
Brain damage is common enough; I've got it. 29 is a bit young for it. You don't bounce back so quickly as you get older (much older). It seems to me that your coke and alcohol use is motivated by the desire for a good time.
(This is precisely what I want. A good time with *moderate* alcohol and cocaine use, good friends, and fun.)
I can't remember what psych drugs you were on, but I do remember wondering how they could possibly help you. Correct me if I'm wrong there. Have they been useful?
Declan
Posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 12:41:28
In reply to Re: Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain to, posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 12:24:58
> Hi AMD
>
> I still reckon you should give low dose deprenyl/selegiline a go.Should I too, you reckon?
Posted by AMD on July 18, 2006, at 13:35:09
In reply to Re: Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain to, posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 12:24:58
Declan,
Hello old friend. Curious as to what makes you think you have brain damage, I mean, above what we all get through the aging process. Does your damage make you depressed, or is it orthogonal to that?
After writing my initial post yesterday I decided to take 200 m.g. of Provigil, and that helped immensely. Today I feel better still. I'm hoping I continue to progressively improve, but this time without a dip back into those other, unhealthy drugs.
Speaking of that -- what do people do as alternatives? (Besides go to meetings.) I notice that the more I drink the less pleasure I feel in other things anyhow. Does this feeling subside?
I'll look into deprenyl/selegeline -- neuroprotective drugs are good. On Celexa and modafinil now, both with neuro-protecting, and the latter cognition improving, properties.
Regards,
amd
> Hi AMD
>
> I still reckon you should give low dose deprenyl/selegeline a go. It makes sense in 2 ways. Firstly you like coke. Secondly it's neuroprotective.
>
> Brain damage is common enough; I've got it. 29 is a bit young for it. You don't bounce back so quickly as you get older (much older). It seems to me that your coke and alcohol use is motivated by the desire for a good time.
>
> (This is precisely what I want. A good time with *moderate* alcohol and cocaine use, good friends, and fun.)
>
> I can't remember what psych drugs you were on, but I do remember wondering how they could possibly help you. Correct me if I'm wrong there. Have they been useful?
>
> Declan
Posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 14:29:19
In reply to Re: Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain to » Declan, posted by AMD on July 18, 2006, at 13:35:09
Brain damage? A number of opiate overdoses with oxygen lack. Too scary and dreadful to describe further.
Guess what? I haven't had a drink for 6 days. One other time I went without for 7 days. I can't remember any other times that long. And like you, last night at any rate, I felt a *distinct* lack of pleasure in anything. That sounds like depression, hey? I spent the day at the afternoon in company and found it really difficult. I wish we were not provided with these labels like social phobia that make nothing clearer. Maybe I didn't have social phobia yesterday, maybe it was PTSD. Maybe it was an avalanche of envy. 30 years ago I liked schizoid, mainly because I couldn't understand it and it seemed full of mystery. There's a message here somewhere....I need this mystery man (a psychological wizard), to fall in love with me and whisk me off to an ancient stone temple in the Bolivian highlands, someone who will provide me with lots of entertainment.
How come you blokes are up? I never know the time difference between here and the States. The UK is easy, being exactly the opposite.
And PN, about the deprenyl....I think it's great, but not as a sole AD.
Declan
Posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 14:37:20
In reply to Re: Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain to » Declan, posted by AMD on July 18, 2006, at 13:35:09
Hey AMD
The other thing is Hydergine. Noone has much good to say about it, but I think you might like it (I do). It can be used for people who have overdone stimulants.
Posted by AMD on July 18, 2006, at 14:54:10
In reply to Hi Pseudoname and AMD, posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 14:29:19
NYC'er here.
amd
Posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 14:57:50
In reply to Hi Pseudoname and AMD, posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 14:29:19
> How come you blokes are up? I never know the time difference between here and the States.
I'm up and mowing the lawn & raking & doing things I've been afraid to do for years. I'm d— near ready to call myself essentially cured. Or at least curable. Being cured.
> Guess what? I haven't had a drink for 6 days.
> And like you, last night at any rate, I felt a *distinct* lack of pleasure in anything.Sorry.
> I wish we were not provided with these labels like social phobia that make nothing clearer.
Amen.
Posted by llrrrpp on July 23, 2006, at 18:33:29
In reply to It's mid-afternoon here » Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 14:57:50
Hi all,
About 2 years ago, my dad (60-ish) suffered severe brain damage as a result of hypoxia. He also had several mini-strokes and very enlarged ventricles (that means less brain tissue and more water). At one point, he picked up the milk carton to turn the TV down. he couldn't name simple objects. If I left the room and came back, he would start crying and say that nobody had visited him in weeks, and that he was all alone.I agree that if you can type a coherent argument you are doing pretty well. If you give your brain a chance to get healthy, it will probably fix itself. But like building muscles, plasticity is slow.
These days my dad can walk, he can play bridge (better than I can!). And he's a killer Sudoku-ist. And he loves to follow the news and try to convince us all that Bush is impeachable. So he's sane after all.
best wishes to you all :)
-ll
Posted by Reggie BoStar on August 29, 2006, at 18:06:00
In reply to Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain toast?, posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:32:25
Rather than worry and second-guess yourself, why not go to a neurologist and get tested?
When I got out of detox, they sent me to a neurologist who tested me for organic brain damage. Neurologists use a combination of examination and thorough cognitive testing to assess brain function.
They can give you a definitive answer to your question.It's worth it - it'll ease your concerns. Not only that, the tests are interesting and fun.
Why not? What have you got to lose?
Whatever you decide, best wishes and best of luck!
Reggie BoStar
Posted by AMD on August 29, 2006, at 20:48:06
In reply to Re: Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain to » AMD, posted by Reggie BoStar on August 29, 2006, at 18:06:00
Actually, since that posting, things are much improved, at least mood and health wise (although I'm not sure how much lasting damage I did to my cognition).
One day a time, right?
Thank you for the encouragement.
amd
Posted by Sebastian on November 10, 2006, at 14:54:00
In reply to Three years of alcohol abuse -- is my brain toast?, posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 12:32:25
I think its the Cocane. Withdraw and worn out. You need to sleep and not use coke for atleast a month then you will feel better.
Posted by Sebastian on November 10, 2006, at 15:33:50
In reply to Re: How old are you? » AMD, posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 13:27:30
What does alcohol do to teenage brains? I had my first drink at age 2-3 years old. And when I was a teenager I drank like a fish. Now they say I'm an alcoholic. I'm 30. I don't drink a huge amount, 3 drinks a day average.
This is the end of the thread.
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